Goodbye 2008.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :D

Hopefully 2009 will be a better year for all of you. 2008 has been one heck of a crazy year; from A levels to boys and drama! Forged stronger friendships, broke some. Last night, I told myself I will filter out all the unnecessary, leave them in 2008 and take along only the ones that matter with me to 2009. I wanna be a better daughter, a better friend, a better person to myself. So I'm leaving this space, moving to a new one as part of my 'start-afresh-plan'. I've already made my new lj some time back and it's really so pretty! :D And I felt that 1st Jan '09 would be a perfect time to start writing there :) So byebye Loves <3

Bite The Dust.

Let’s get this over and done with. So you if can’t beat them, beat them up??? Where did you pick that up from? Uncivilized Caveman 101? It’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard.

Even if I were to be full of myself, I’ve got complete license to do so. But I’m not, I’m just very secure and very sure of who I am. I know what I’ve got, and I know where I stand. I know what I want and I darn well fight for myself because no one else is going to stand up for me, is there?

And you know what? At times, I almost felt bad for sparking off this little tiff. Until recently, you had to bring it up (for what reason???) and start this whole ‘online thing’ all over again. If anything, it was you who brought it to yourself this time, so don’t play Miss-I’m-The-Poor-Innocent-Victim. You can’t diss me and expect me to roll over and play dead. So don’t you dare try to make me feel guilty for the position my best friend is in right now. I will never let anything, least of all, YOU get in the way of our friendship.

You want a solid reason??? Is a mirror solid enough for you? You will never understand why people don’t like you. Yeah that's right. PEOPLE. What, you thought I was the only one? Why do you need a solid reason? If you had to get a reason out of everyone who says shit about you, you'd just end up confused and feeling worse about yourself won't you? You just won’t get it. Just look at the way you’re tackling this ‘online thing’. It’s joke worthy really. These little things you do. The harsh fact is that people judge and make presumptuous impressions based on how you present yourself. Deal with it. And enough with the self pity. You can’t expect everyone to like you. Live with it. And leave it.

The Devil Wears Charles and Keith. (And Vincci too)

I have a feeling this entry won’t have much of a direction. But I’m in good blogging mood so I should just keep on typing before I slip into the super-procrastinator mode again.

So anyway! Loads of things have been going on lately. Like prom. Okay Prom. I don’t know why but whenever I say the word it just feels right to say it with a capital P. So yeah we decided at the VERY last minute to go for prom because there were suddenly 3 available tickets available, going for HALF PRICE. HAHA CHEW ON THAT.

We only had 2 days to prepare for prom, and I’m not trying to brag (okay maybe I am) but in my opinion, we still managed to look completely amazing, right girls?! Just like my mantra: Glamourous, Fabulous, it’s Effortless :D We arrived at Hilton slightly late. Okay VERY late. Like one and a half hours late to be exact. It’s was pretty daunting when we stepped in the ballroom cus everyone turned and stared at the 3 gundus standing in the middle of nowhere. Like that wasn’t bad enough the councilors wanted to split us up and put us at different tables like OMG NO WAY. So they took like agessssss to find us 3 seats at the same table and in that time more eyesss started to shoot at us like laser guns. Pretty uncomfortable.

I will not talk about the food. Don’t even want to think about it. I will just, I don’t know, fast more or something hahaha. Prom was on a whole, not that big a deal. The only awesome part of it was when they dimmed the lights and turned up the music! I swearrrr we went absolutely loco on the dance floor. Like step #1 off with the shoes. Step#2 start screaming the words to every song. And step#3 just do whatever your body tells you to. Too bad most of them were party poopers and they left when it was time to dance. As for the others who stayed on the dance floor, good on you! (All except for the falling on us and stepping on our feet part) at least you guys know how to have some fun :D

We took shitloads of pictures (no surprises there!) and then decided to hit Arena. I swear it was such a lucky night for me. For some reason parents weren’t persistently calling, like I thought they would be. But walking down clarke quay after midnight with a devastatingly low cut dress that covers only 3 inches of my thighs was probably not such a good idea. Music was good, though I didn’t really fancy the live performance concept. But nonetheless we had fun. Jessie was my dance partner for the night, YAY love you for dancing with me alllllllllll the way despite achy thighs, toe and calf-muscle cramps, BLACK feet and all.
Was about to leave when I saw GUESS WHO!!! Hady Mirza! :D:D:D:D:D Exchanged cheeky grins and took a picture. Couldn’t hear what he said to me because the music was banging loud but yeah, we left after that. Haha I’m a lucky bitch I know ;)

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

*FOR MORE PICTURES CLICK HERE AND HERE*
(I know right, you're probably going, "WHAT! THERE'S MORE?!")

Hostility was pretty evident that night. But like, whatever you know? I was just there to have fun. But I can’t help but find the whole thing a little amusing though. Like if you wanna take a piss at me, do it while the topic’s still hot. And right now, it’s waaaay over the expiry date. Like how you were searching through my archives for that entry? Yes honey, I know about that. But yeah I get it, you needed to cross-refer. But what I don’t get, is the relevance of that incident to what’s presently happening. And whoever said that I was in it for a brutal catfight? I clawed, and came out unscathed. :)

Aaaannd I’m definitely recovering. It’s not so much because there are distractions now, but more of like, my own self will to move on. I’m pushing myself and constantly reminding myself of what I’ve got to lose should I take a second chance at it. Each time you come on, I feel a fleeting sense of urge to just click on you and type those 2 simple letters of a conversation starter. And then I realize that you’re completely not worth it. You don’t deserve someone like me. I know it all sounds like I’m so full of myself but, at times like these, you’ve just got to make yourself see clearly through all that hazy, murky infatuation and think straight. Think logically, and weigh whether the other party is willing to give to you what you’re willing to offer and give up for them. And you definitely don’t care enough. So Bye Bye. The next time we speak will totally be your call.

Mind Blowing, Body Rocking, Eyes Locking, Lips Touching, Heart Pumping.

I AM SOOO CRAZY OVER THIS VIDEO! HAT'S OFF TO KERI HILSON. SHE'S SO PRETTY AND SUBTLY SEXY, WITHOUT GOING OVER THE TOP! SHE'S JUST SO FABULOUS! LOVE LOVE LOVE HER! AND THE BUTT ROLLING AND VIGOROUS SHAKING IS SIMPLY HYPNOTIZING! HEHE LOOKING FORWARD TO DANCE WITH MY BABES ON THURDAY ;)

Make the strings talk with your fingertips.

Okay so I've been totally living my life eversince A's ended. It feels so damn bloody good to be this free from study commitments! I'm enjoying every moment of it, the shopping, the dressing up, the mindless bitchings over coffee at various Starbucks outlets, the aimless walking around til feet start aching very badly, the occasional fun eye-flirtations with random cuties, the customary camwhoring, the good company to keep my mind off certain people. Basically, being this free has kept me pretty busy, in a sense. But it's not at all bad. I feel emotionally healthier, being around people I love, having happy and fun things to do to temporarily block out certain thoughts (which have definitely become less of an emotional baggage these days). It only sucks when I'm at home doing nothing like I am now, when I'll start pinning again. Major bummer, but hey, I'll get over it.

Parents are not too keen on the idea of me going out everyday though. Thats why I've decided to stay home today and tomorrow, just to appease them. Plus, my phone bill has skyrocketted and Dad's fuming angry.

I'm desperately looking for a job. I need it pronto! But I can't help but be picky. I need the damn cash! I mean $10 allowance for everytime I go out is really appallingly pathetic if you think about it. Plus, my own reserves are running low after all that shopping.

I've just finished reading a very good book. It's given me a whole different perspective, and I'm definitely trying out that approach, which so far, works like a charm. HEHE.

Days out with the Lovelies were awesome, as usual. We need to set aside one day to celebrate all the birthdays that we've missed cus of the bloody exams okay! :)

Outings with dearest cousin Delylah promises insane bitchings too. I swear whenever I see that face, bitchmode just turns on full blast and we'll just laugh our heads off and poke fun at walking fashion disasters. And complaining to each other about Men being like dogs has almost become like a ritual.

And Huda, let's drink (coffee) to the good times we always end up having whenever we meet. I love how we talk about everything and nothing at the same time. I love how we can just sit in comfortable silence. And I love how nothing changes, even if we don't meet for ages :)

J, Sentosa outing WAAAAAY overdue. Next week, promise me! :)

Still a lot of people I (really, really, really) wanna meet. But I won't push it.

Kiss me and I'll kiss you back :)

Wow have I left this space to rot or what! Haha I'm almost done with A levels! 2 more papers and I'll finally get to taste pure freedom for the next few months. Can't express how excited I am to be able to get away from the books for the next 6-7 months? It's beyond awesome lor. I get moments like, when I'm studying, I suddenly excite the shit out of myself just thinking about all the things I wanna do, and get totally distracted. I've got soo many things I wanna do YAY YAY YAY I'm going to vow to never have a boring day once A's are over. WOOHOOOO let me list it down so you can get excited for me too HAHA

#1 I'm planning to have a room make over. Paint my walls a nicer shade of pink maybe? And execute Project Walk-In Closet! :D And of course I'm gonna get my girlfriends to help me out; shopping for stuff at IKEA and where ever else. SO EXCITING RIGHT! Then we can have a sleepover at my place and stuff our face with so much food (or maybe not so much la! Moderation is the key okay girls! ) while waiting for the paint to dry or something and have Prison Break / The Hills /Gossip Girls marathon! :D

#2 SENTOSA SENTOSA SENTOSA SENTOSA I'm definitely going to need a new bikini if I'm planning to go there that often. Haha YAY shopping for beach stuff should be fun. Shades, a cute towel, cute shorts and a beach bag, and I'll be good to go! :D

#3 I WANNA GO TO THE ZOO :D I haven't been there since Primary School!

#4 Hmmm... I'm not gonna tell you what 4 is but it involves loads of FREE movies and dinners (and who knows what else) HEHE :D

#5 Just slack and waste my life at Starbucks with my laptop or a good book and giggle about my CB to my dearest Pisai<3 and talk about how he can defuse things hehe :D

#6 YEAR END SALES with my girlfriends. Wow I have a feeling I won't have any self -restraints during this sales period. *nudge nudge wink wink at Huda.

#7 SWIM! Gosh I haven't had time to do this in ages. Water's my element definitely; it's the only sport that I feel isn't a torture. I personally feel that it's sadistic to run. All that sweat and panting and messy hair and eww disgusting bulky running shoes :/

#8 Think of more stuff to do. I think lists are weird and incomplete if you don't have 10 things on them.

So anyway. Just in case you haven't died or something, I'm expecting you to get back to me after my papers are done. I feel super frustrated and not to mention, pathetic, waiting and hoping for you to do things that I feel you should be taking initiative to do. And if you're going to give me the "Oh, I didn't want to distract you during your crucial A level period" shit, then save it. I'm not buying that excuse cus it's serious bullshit. Taking A levels doesn't mean I'm going to isolate myself from the world. A simple text message won't be too much of a hassle for me to reply. And the same should apply to you. If you're not intending to take me seriously then tell me straight up, and make way for the many others in line will ya?

Mixed feeling about the A levels. I don't think I'll get outstanding results or anything like that. Papers have been so-so but Maths in particular was retarededly difficult. Econs too actually. And I was banking on my maths for an A! :( Lit was pretty unexpected. But oh well, I'll have 5 days to study for Heart of Darkness, Owen and Gatsby.

And OMG J, I still can't believe you're moving! D': Who am I going to have impromptu dinners at Yishun with!? :( Like, PUNGGOL WHAT THE FUCK?! You might as well be living in Malaysia lor! It's so damn far away :( You better like come over my place or meet me at the very least 5 times a month okay! Hmph.

19th November is the date to note :) Everyone come book me after that okay! You guys know who you are :)

PS my blog needs a facelift dontcha think?

Study or Die.

I'm looking forward to the day where I can go to Starbucks and chill on those cushy sofas instead of looking out for the wooden chairs with big tables for my notes.


Oh and did I mention, my picture is now up on the board at the Starbucks outlet at Woodlands. Cus I'm a regular! Cool right, cool right! I know :D

I'll be okay.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful
If happy things last could last forever?
If there doesn’t have to be an end to all the good times?
If you could bottle up essence of wonderful moments and relive them over and over again?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful
If people who matter, treasure you as much as you treasure them?
If you mean as much to someone, as they mean to you?
If someone whom you fancy, likes you back with the same intensity?

And wouldn’t it be wonderful
If people could communicate through telepathy?
There would be no filtration of thoughts and feelings.
There would be no barrier called Adamant Pride.
No need to decide if your fingers should dial those numbers.
No need to decide if you should press “send message”.
No need to think twice before saying “Hi” to someone whom you really want to talk to but for some reason, just can’t.
Just think of that person, and there. You’re automatically connected and you’ll both know what the other person is thinking about. That way, no one can ever lose touch with anyone. And you’ll also know how frequently you’re being thought of.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful
If life was really that straightforward?

Brink of Disaster.

Scrape the last entry. That was PMS at its peak for you! Plus, I should have realized by now, that as long I've still got my pride, everything will be okay. Two can play the same game, Honey. I just happen to play it better.

Some pretty crazy things have been going on lately. The Confession. Can't believe those words came tumbling out of my mouth like that. IN THAT MANNER. Calm, and nonchalant. I don't know what possessed me to say it, but I know now that I won't be uncontrollably doing it anytime soon. My hunger for it is slowly creeping up on me, but as long as I don't go anywhere near those places, I should be fine.

I've got so many pictures to post up! Raya pictures and Graduation pictures! YES THAT'S RIGHT I'VE GRADUATED. F to the I to the N-A-L-L-Y! :D

And I'm really getting jitters for A's. It's time I get rid of all distractions and really buckle down and get serious. I cannot afford to fool around anymore, I mustn't!

And I fell in love with my favouritest supermodel ever, Natalia Vodianova, all over again.

She's beyond fabulous ♥

Conspiracies and Mysteries.

My life is just a big mess right now.
I don't want to talk about it.
I just need a long, warm hug and a shoulder to cry on.