OOOMYGOSH

Goodbye 2008.

2009-01-01T16:38:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :D

Hopefully 2009 will be a better year for all of you. 2008 has been one heck of a crazy year; from A levels to boys and drama! Forged stronger friendships, broke some. Last night, I told myself I will filter out all the unnecessary, leave them in 2008 and take along only the ones that matter with me to 2009. I wanna be a better daughter, a better friend, a better person to myself. So I'm leaving this space, moving to a new one as part of my 'start-afresh-plan'. I've already made my new lj some time back and it's really so pretty! :D And I felt that 1st Jan '09 would be a perfect time to start writing there :) So byebye Loves <3

Bite The Dust.

2008-12-13T16:40:00.004+08:00

Let’s get this over and done with. So you if can’t beat them, beat them up??? Where did you pick that up from? Uncivilized Caveman 101? It’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard.

Even if I were to be full of myself, I’ve got complete license to do so. But I’m not, I’m just very secure and very sure of who I am. I know what I’ve got, and I know where I stand. I know what I want and I darn well fight for myself because no one else is going to stand up for me, is there?

And you know what? At times, I almost felt bad for sparking off this little tiff. Until recently, you had to bring it up (for what reason???) and start this whole ‘online thing’ all over again. If anything, it was you who brought it to yourself this time, so don’t play Miss-I’m-The-Poor-Innocent-Victim. You can’t diss me and expect me to roll over and play dead. So don’t you dare try to make me feel guilty for the position my best friend is in right now. I will never let anything, least of all, YOU get in the way of our friendship.

You want a solid reason??? Is a mirror solid enough for you? You will never understand why people don’t like you. Yeah that's right. PEOPLE. What, you thought I was the only one? Why do you need a solid reason? If you had to get a reason out of everyone who says shit about you, you'd just end up confused and feeling worse about yourself won't you? You just won’t get it. Just look at the way you’re tackling this ‘online thing’. It’s joke worthy really. These little things you do. The harsh fact is that people judge and make presumptuous impressions based on how you present yourself. Deal with it. And enough with the self pity. You can’t expect everyone to like you. Live with it. And leave it.

The Devil Wears Charles and Keith. (And Vincci too)

2008-12-09T23:14:00.014+08:00

I have a feeling this entry won’t have much of a direction. But I’m in good blogging mood so I should just keep on typing before I slip into the super-procrastinator mode again.

So anyway! Loads of things have been going on lately. Like prom. Okay Prom. I don’t know why but whenever I say the word it just feels right to say it with a capital P. So yeah we decided at the VERY last minute to go for prom because there were suddenly 3 available tickets available, going for HALF PRICE. HAHA CHEW ON THAT.

We only had 2 days to prepare for prom, and I’m not trying to brag (okay maybe I am) but in my opinion, we still managed to look completely amazing, right girls?! Just like my mantra: Glamourous, Fabulous, it’s Effortless :D We arrived at Hilton slightly late. Okay VERY late. Like one and a half hours late to be exact. It’s was pretty daunting when we stepped in the ballroom cus everyone turned and stared at the 3 gundus standing in the middle of nowhere. Like that wasn’t bad enough the councilors wanted to split us up and put us at different tables like OMG NO WAY. So they took like agessssss to find us 3 seats at the same table and in that time more eyesss started to shoot at us like laser guns. Pretty uncomfortable.

I will not talk about the food. Don’t even want to think about it. I will just, I don’t know, fast more or something hahaha. Prom was on a whole, not that big a deal. The only awesome part of it was when they dimmed the lights and turned up the music! I swearrrr we went absolutely loco on the dance floor. Like step #1 off with the shoes. Step#2 start screaming the words to every song. And step#3 just do whatever your body tells you to. Too bad most of them were party poopers and they left when it was time to dance. As for the others who stayed on the dance floor, good on you! (All except for the falling on us and stepping on our feet part) at least you guys know how to have some fun :D

We took shitloads of pictures (no surprises there!) and then decided to hit Arena. I swear it was such a lucky night for me. For some reason parents weren’t persistently calling, like I thought they would be. But walking down clarke quay after midnight with a devastatingly low cut dress that covers only 3 inches of my thighs was probably not such a good idea. Music was good, though I didn’t really fancy the live performance concept. But nonetheless we had fun. Jessie was my dance partner for the night, YAY love you for dancing with me alllllllllll the way despite achy thighs, toe and calf-muscle cramps, BLACK feet and all.
Was about to leave when I saw GUESS WHO!!! Hady Mirza! :D:D:D:D:D Exchanged cheeky grins and took a picture. Couldn’t hear what he said to me because the music was banging loud but yeah, we left after that. Haha I’m a lucky bitch I know ;)

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

*FOR MORE PICTURES CLICK HERE AND HERE*
(I know right, you're probably going, "WHAT! THERE'S MORE?!")

Hostility was pretty evident that night. But like, whatever you know? I was just there to have fun. But I can’t help but find the whole thing a little amusing though. Like if you wanna take a piss at me, do it while the topic’s still hot. And right now, it’s waaaay over the expiry date. Like how you were searching through my archives for that entry? Yes honey, I know about that. But yeah I get it, you needed to cross-refer. But what I don’t get, is the relevance of that incident to what’s presently happening. And whoever said that I was in it for a brutal catfight? I clawed, and came out unscathed. :)

Aaaannd I’m definitely recovering. It’s not so much because there are distractions now, but more of like, my own self will to move on. I’m pushing myself and constantly reminding myself of what I’ve got to lose should I take a second chance at it. Each time you come on, I feel a fleeting sense of urge to just click on you and type those 2 simple letters of a conversation starter. And then I realize that you’re completely not worth it. You don’t deserve someone like me. I know it all sounds like I’m so full of myself but, at times like these, you’ve just got to make yourself see clearly through all that hazy, murky infatuation and think straight. Think logically, and weigh whether the other party is willing to give to you what you’re willing to offer and give up for them. And you definitely don’t care enough. So Bye Bye. The next time we speak will totally be your call.

Mind Blowing, Body Rocking, Eyes Locking, Lips Touching, Heart Pumping.

2008-12-03T12:41:00.003+08:00

I AM SOOO CRAZY OVER THIS VIDEO! HAT'S OFF TO KERI HILSON. SHE'S SO PRETTY AND SUBTLY SEXY, WITHOUT GOING OVER THE TOP! SHE'S JUST SO FABULOUS! LOVE LOVE LOVE HER! AND THE BUTT ROLLING AND VIGOROUS SHAKING IS SIMPLY HYPNOTIZING! HEHE LOOKING FORWARD TO DANCE WITH MY BABES ON THURDAY ;)

Make the strings talk with your fingertips.

2008-11-29T16:05:00.018+08:00

Okay so I've been totally living my life eversince A's ended. It feels so damn bloody good to be this free from study commitments! I'm enjoying every moment of it, the shopping, the dressing up, the mindless bitchings over coffee at various Starbucks outlets, the aimless walking around til feet start aching very badly, the occasional fun eye-flirtations with random cuties, the customary camwhoring, the good company to keep my mind off certain people. Basically, being this free has kept me pretty busy, in a sense. But it's not at all bad. I feel emotionally healthier, being around people I love, having happy and fun things to do to temporarily block out certain thoughts (which have definitely become less of an emotional baggage these days). It only sucks when I'm at home doing nothing like I am now, when I'll start pinning again. Major bummer, but hey, I'll get over it.

Parents are not too keen on the idea of me going out everyday though. Thats why I've decided to stay home today and tomorrow, just to appease them. Plus, my phone bill has skyrocketted and Dad's fuming angry.

I'm desperately looking for a job. I need it pronto! But I can't help but be picky. I need the damn cash! I mean $10 allowance for everytime I go out is really appallingly pathetic if you think about it. Plus, my own reserves are running low after all that shopping.

I've just finished reading a very good book. It's given me a whole different perspective, and I'm definitely trying out that approach, which so far, works like a charm. HEHE.

Days out with the Lovelies were awesome, as usual. We need to set aside one day to celebrate all the birthdays that we've missed cus of the bloody exams okay! :)

Outings with dearest cousin Delylah promises insane bitchings too. I swear whenever I see that face, bitchmode just turns on full blast and we'll just laugh our heads off and poke fun at walking fashion disasters. And complaining to each other about Men being like dogs has almost become like a ritual.

And Huda, let's drink (coffee) to the good times we always end up having whenever we meet. I love how we talk about everything and nothing at the same time. I love how we can just sit in comfortable silence. And I love how nothing changes, even if we don't meet for ages :)

J, Sentosa outing WAAAAAY overdue. Next week, promise me! :)

Still a lot of people I (really, really, really) wanna meet. But I won't push it.

Kiss me and I'll kiss you back :)

2008-11-12T22:13:00.005+08:00

Wow have I left this space to rot or what! Haha I'm almost done with A levels! 2 more papers and I'll finally get to taste pure freedom for the next few months. Can't express how excited I am to be able to get away from the books for the next 6-7 months? It's beyond awesome lor. I get moments like, when I'm studying, I suddenly excite the shit out of myself just thinking about all the things I wanna do, and get totally distracted. I've got soo many things I wanna do YAY YAY YAY I'm going to vow to never have a boring day once A's are over. WOOHOOOO let me list it down so you can get excited for me too HAHA

#1 I'm planning to have a room make over. Paint my walls a nicer shade of pink maybe? And execute Project Walk-In Closet! :D And of course I'm gonna get my girlfriends to help me out; shopping for stuff at IKEA and where ever else. SO EXCITING RIGHT! Then we can have a sleepover at my place and stuff our face with so much food (or maybe not so much la! Moderation is the key okay girls! ) while waiting for the paint to dry or something and have Prison Break / The Hills /Gossip Girls marathon! :D

#2 SENTOSA SENTOSA SENTOSA SENTOSA I'm definitely going to need a new bikini if I'm planning to go there that often. Haha YAY shopping for beach stuff should be fun. Shades, a cute towel, cute shorts and a beach bag, and I'll be good to go! :D

#3 I WANNA GO TO THE ZOO :D I haven't been there since Primary School!

#4 Hmmm... I'm not gonna tell you what 4 is but it involves loads of FREE movies and dinners (and who knows what else) HEHE :D

#5 Just slack and waste my life at Starbucks with my laptop or a good book and giggle about my CB to my dearest Pisai<3 and talk about how he can defuse things hehe :D

#6 YEAR END SALES with my girlfriends. Wow I have a feeling I won't have any self -restraints during this sales period. *nudge nudge wink wink at Huda.

#7 SWIM! Gosh I haven't had time to do this in ages. Water's my element definitely; it's the only sport that I feel isn't a torture. I personally feel that it's sadistic to run. All that sweat and panting and messy hair and eww disgusting bulky running shoes :/

#8 Think of more stuff to do. I think lists are weird and incomplete if you don't have 10 things on them.

So anyway. Just in case you haven't died or something, I'm expecting you to get back to me after my papers are done. I feel super frustrated and not to mention, pathetic, waiting and hoping for you to do things that I feel you should be taking initiative to do. And if you're going to give me the "Oh, I didn't want to distract you during your crucial A level period" shit, then save it. I'm not buying that excuse cus it's serious bullshit. Taking A levels doesn't mean I'm going to isolate myself from the world. A simple text message won't be too much of a hassle for me to reply. And the same should apply to you. If you're not intending to take me seriously then tell me straight up, and make way for the many others in line will ya?

Mixed feeling about the A levels. I don't think I'll get outstanding results or anything like that. Papers have been so-so but Maths in particular was retarededly difficult. Econs too actually. And I was banking on my maths for an A! :( Lit was pretty unexpected. But oh well, I'll have 5 days to study for Heart of Darkness, Owen and Gatsby.

And OMG J, I still can't believe you're moving! D': Who am I going to have impromptu dinners at Yishun with!? :( Like, PUNGGOL WHAT THE FUCK?! You might as well be living in Malaysia lor! It's so damn far away :( You better like come over my place or meet me at the very least 5 times a month okay! Hmph.

19th November is the date to note :) Everyone come book me after that okay! You guys know who you are :)

PS my blog needs a facelift dontcha think?

Study or Die.

2008-10-08T20:54:00.004+08:00

I'm looking forward to the day where I can go to Starbucks and chill on those cushy sofas instead of looking out for the wooden chairs with big tables for my notes.

Oh and did I mention, my picture is now up on the board at the Starbucks outlet at Woodlands. Cus I'm a regular! Cool right, cool right! I know :D

I'll be okay.

2008-10-07T22:35:00.001+08:00

Wouldn’t it be wonderful
If happy things last could last forever?
If there doesn’t have to be an end to all the good times?
If you could bottle up essence of wonderful moments and relive them over and over again?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful
If people who matter, treasure you as much as you treasure them?
If you mean as much to someone, as they mean to you?
If someone whom you fancy, likes you back with the same intensity?

And wouldn’t it be wonderful
If people could communicate through telepathy?
There would be no filtration of thoughts and feelings.
There would be no barrier called Adamant Pride.
No need to decide if your fingers should dial those numbers.
No need to decide if you should press “send message”.
No need to think twice before saying “Hi” to someone whom you really want to talk to but for some reason, just can’t.
Just think of that person, and there. You’re automatically connected and you’ll both know what the other person is thinking about. That way, no one can ever lose touch with anyone. And you’ll also know how frequently you’re being thought of.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful
If life was really that straightforward?

Brink of Disaster.

2008-10-04T19:31:00.003+08:00

Scrape the last entry. That was PMS at its peak for you! Plus, I should have realized by now, that as long I've still got my pride, everything will be okay. Two can play the same game, Honey. I just happen to play it better.

Some pretty crazy things have been going on lately. The Confession. Can't believe those words came tumbling out of my mouth like that. IN THAT MANNER. Calm, and nonchalant. I don't know what possessed me to say it, but I know now that I won't be uncontrollably doing it anytime soon. My hunger for it is slowly creeping up on me, but as long as I don't go anywhere near those places, I should be fine.

I've got so many pictures to post up! Raya pictures and Graduation pictures! YES THAT'S RIGHT I'VE GRADUATED. F to the I to the N-A-L-L-Y! :D

And I'm really getting jitters for A's. It's time I get rid of all distractions and really buckle down and get serious. I cannot afford to fool around anymore, I mustn't!

And I fell in love with my favouritest supermodel ever, Natalia Vodianova, all over again.

She's beyond fabulous ♥

Conspiracies and Mysteries.

2008-10-02T15:28:00.004+08:00

My life is just a big mess right now.
I don't want to talk about it.
I just need a long, warm hug and a shoulder to cry on.

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.

2008-09-23T19:48:00.005+08:00

I had a dream a few days back, about a person who was once a very close friend of mine. We used to be really tight when we were young. We were alike in so many ways, people even had problems telling us apart. She was the first friend I made in our freshmen year at Cedar. We hung out a lot and did a lot together. We had fun times sure, but the ugly moments, were downright U. G. L. Y. We both made mistakes, and I’d gotten over the whole, “who-started-it” situation. As much as I regret those times, I am aware that we were immature, young and stupid. I must admit, that even before the dream, I had times when I thought to myself, what would it be like if we were still friends now. We’d probably hit it off pretty well, like how we did when we first became friends. I reckon that as long as we don’t get too close, we could possibly have a very healthy friendship. We’ve both grown up, and I’ve put all the bad memories in the past. I’d like to be friends again, to hang out once in a while like girlfriends do. But it’s difficult. You can‘t simply go like, “Hey! Let’s be friends again.” to someone whom you haven’t spoken to for years. I don’t know. As quoted from The Hills, “You’ll always miss a best friend.” I wonder if she misses me too.

I hate it how everything’s always so uncertain. I’ve no clue where we’re heading to or where you want it to go. It’s no fun trying to guess what your intentions are. I feel that I sometimes I’m over thinking, and I’m the one who’s making the whole situation more complicated than it really is. There are so many avenues opening up for me but I’m still sticking to you . So show me that I’m not making a wrong choice, will you?

Don't stray

Don't ever go away
I should be much to smart for this
You know it gets the better
Of me sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
Don't let me drown
Let me down
I say its all because of you and here I go
Losing my control
I'm practicing your name
So I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth indeed its time
Tell you why
I say its infinitely true
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

And Kiss is serious about wanting to marry me. HAHAHA I don’t know what to make out of it. It’s freaky lor! But funny at the same time. Lucky I’m all the way here!

A levels looming nearer and nearer. My stomach and intestines are constricting just thinking about it :S

Dear God.

2008-09-09T23:38:00.001+08:00

I'm very tired and I need to unload things off my mind cus my head currently feels like really heavy. So imma incoherently type whatever comes to my mind.

I do not like being taken for granted. I do not like being made to wait and wonder and wait and wonder. You know that feeling? Like, the the one whom you place priority on doesn't seem to be putting in as much effort as the others whom you're not so keen on. WHY WHY WHY is it always like that!!! It's not fucking fair. For what I'm worth, I won't tolerate it.

I adore my super sexy black dress that finally came from US. It's so cheap I cannot believe it. Very body hugging, plunging neckline and very scandalous. Don't know when I'll wear it though. But who cares. Every girl needs to have something like that in her closet. To like, I dunno, admire? Haha.

I've been like, getting myself so many new clothes in the last few weeks but I'm still not contented. My appetite for clothes has like ballooned to the size of.. of.. well something really huge. Greed maybe? Or just the great desire to look fab all the time.

I've got so much work to do but like, how am I supposed to do them when I'm in this super stoned state. My eyes are threatening to shut before I post this entry and my head's throbbing. Why am I so tired?!

Mr Spencer was so funny today. He said he was dazzled by my new smile HAHA and I forgot to write my name on my essay and he wrote a huge 'NAMELESS IDIOT' on the top of my script and at the end he wrote, 'NOT BAD, NAMELESS'. He's so funny I'm gonna miss him after this year is up. That big, obnoxious, hairy, exotic, white man.

There's been so much drama lately. Honestly, I welcome a little drama once in a while. But it's been like WHAM, WHAM, WHAM consecutively and I really need to breathe for a bit and get away from it all. Sometimes, I'd rather not be aware of some things so that I won't have to waste my emotions getting all unnecessarily annoyed. Like they say, a clueless woman, is a happy woman.

A Levels in 48 fucking days. I need a miracle.

Nothing but your t-shirt on; never felt so beautiful.

2008-09-06T09:34:00.003+08:00

I’ve been trying to find out who I really am lately. I know, I know, damn corny. It’s like a thing everyone does at this age. But like seriously, I think I’ve changed so much since last year, for both the better and for the worse. You know how it’s like, when people say like, “19 was the age that I really grew up.” What they probably meant was, at 19, they found themselves, and have been that person ever since. I think for me, 18’s my determining age. And I know it’s really early in the morning today, but I woke up feeling the need to pen this down before the routines of my daily life erode away this revelation.

I realized that there are 2 sides of me. They are overlaps of the personality that I have always been, and the personality that I’ve taken on. Let’s talk about the former first. I’ve always been a nice person; generous and thoughtful, and selflessly giving to people who matter to me. I get deeply passionate about certain things and my actions are very often fuelled by strong emotions, but not so much on impulse. My decisions are always easily swayed, partly because of my nature to generally want to make those around me happy.

Those are the parts of me that still exists. Over the past year, (or maybe years) I’ve shed some qualities and I’ve taken on new ones. I’m no longer the mellow, submissive and accepting character. But rather I’ve become very keen on fighting for my rights and what I believe in. I’m less afraid to show people how I feel. I’ve become more sure of myself. More comfortable in my own skin. I only give a damn about people who give a damn about me. Pride’s also become something that’s of utmost importance to me.

I think. The second personality, is more of like, my defense mechanism. It takes charge every once in a while, especially when I’m being provoked or when I’m being put in a vulnerable position. It’s like war. When you’re faced with the enemy, you go all out to eliminate them and make sure you come out alive, with as little scratches as possible. It’s the bitch personality that looks after your interests. It’s the bitch personality that takes care of you. It’s the bitch personality that makes sure you have things your way when you really have to. Sometimes, you’ve just got to unleash the bitch.

I was pretty shocked when I realized how worlds apart my two personalities are. It’s like, complete dipoles of each other. I think to myself, maybe the second personality is a hard shell; a hard exterior that I’ve built for myself, so that no one can penetrate through and hurt me easily. But often, I do tear down those walls, and you’ll see my old self shining through. And when that wall comes down for you, you know you’ve won me over.

Murder on the dancefloor.

2008-09-02T14:49:00.008+08:00

So these past few days have been all about my 'first's. Just to state a few, I had my first taste of someone else's cherry chapstick, I saw myself without braces for the first time since last year, and I had my first bike ride! Hahaha I felt like Audrina for a bit, only difference is that no one wore boots or burped shamelessly. It was really quite an experience. It felt quite surreal actually, seeing the world speeding past you in that cold night breeze. It's pretty much how I imagine being in a time travel machine would feel like.

Been hanging out a lot with my favourite girls lately. Been doing a lot of shopping too, right Huda? It summed up to about $170 can you believe it? Anyway, pictures pictures pictures! LOVE LOVE LOVE! <3

I woke up at 830 today, went back to sleep at 11, woke up at 1 and now I feel like sleeping again. Haven't studied much lately. Don't feel like it. I'm gonna get myself in trouble if this keeps up.

I don't really know the point of this post actually.

I've got eyes to see, you can't fool me.

2008-08-27T01:42:00.003+08:00

I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door
Even though I told him yesterday and the day before
I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab
And I have to pull my money out and that looks BAD
And yeah I'm a lot to handle
You don't know trouble
I'm a hell of a scandal
Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen
Always give me what I want
Be very very good to me
Are you gonna treat me right
I can put up a fight

I'd like to believe that it's just the after exams excitement. But I should quit kidding myself. I mean, the first time I heard about it I was totally amazed. I wanted to know the what and how and WHEREs. Greed + Lust. Just don't add the 'Reckless' into the equation and I should be okay. No shit, it's addictive. I'm scared. But damn, temptations over-rule.

It's amazing how one can change so rapidly in a year. Funny how one incident can make you realise the meaning of Self Worth, Confidence and Caution all at the same time. And very possibly, 5 years worth of life experience like BAM in your face. No regrets. Really. I think you, specifically, tasted the new treatment firsthand. Might have come as a shock. Haha I wouldn't have preferred it to be any other way. Totally in control. And I'm loving it more than ever.

And wahahaha I lived up to the Stalkers' Club motto tonight (raise an eyebrow and wink at Noelle). That little slut is so annoying. Flirt Flirt Flirt. Act Cute Act Cute Act Cute. I STAB STAB STAB YOU. I am paranoid and perversely assumptious. But whatever. Life taught me to be careful and wary of such things.

School again tomorrow D; Imma drag my Keds to Yishun Junior College and pray hard she won't ask us for the CJC/VJC/HCI prelim papers. Cus I haven't done them and I don't remember where I put them. Completely no mood for school; someone come rescue me from this torture. I'm looking forward to a fuller closet. And a full wallet atst. Arrrgh SHIT. Self-restraint is an art I need to learn quick. Fuck how.

Oh, best thing I've heard today: "I love you. You're so fashionable and spiteful. You keep them inline." Never heard anything that sums it up so succinctly.

Goodnight loves <3

Mummy, can I have a rockstar please?

2008-08-24T01:00:00.001+08:00

This is one of my all-time favourite songs. I reckon I'll probably never ever get sick of it. And how often do you get acoustics that are better than the recorded version?
My, my, my.
HIS.
VOICE.
IS.
SO.
FUCKING.
SEXY.
Kelly Jones is just dripping with sex appeal! That husky husky voice. That bad boy image. There's nothing more incredibly sexy than a man with a guitar. It's no wonder why girls fall in love with rockstars.

Fighting Temptations.

2008-08-21T21:09:00.007+08:00

Take all back, take your first your last your only.
Take it back, take it all back, everything you showed me.

Yay I am sooo close to being done with prelims! I’ve only got one last paper on Monday which is chem mcq and that’s like, nyeh. I am so totally feeling the after-exam excitement already; totally slacked the whole day! And how wonderful it felt to be able to nap without setting an alarm! I will so be catching up on my sleep. Fucking exams left me with horrible eye luggages and dark eye circles and acne too! But I realized today that the acne’s due to my monthly bloody affair. Urgh hormones. I blame them for everything. Anyway, I don’t think my results will look much better than block’s. Will someone please come and shake me up and make me start mugging seriously like a proper A level student! Gosh, I never knew exactly when failing became an okay thing. I can hardly recognize the over-achiever that I was before.

With A level drawing nearer and all the hype about prom (which I plan not to attend), it’s starting to sink in that we’re almost there already! I’m going to go hysterical with joy once my last A level paper is over :D It seemed not too long ago that I sat in the canteen with Noelle and Jessie just gossiping about Josh and gang, and skipping classes so that we can watch people and laugh at the code names we gave them. Wow PAE was really good. Sometimes, I wish I had the power to go back in time and extract the good bits and weave them into the present. So many broken ties in such little time. Such a pity. Such a waste. But it’s comforting to know that I’ve made such good friends; friends whom I’d probably remain friends with for the rest of my life. Jessie, my ever so retarded pau-jiggler. Noelle for being the gossip-rich pisai that you are. Jac for being there to share good beats :D Do you guys sometimes wonder what it would be like if we weren’t a clique in PAE? HAHA we’d probably bitch about each other like how we bitch about Crooked and the lot. Why am I being so sentimental? Eww I am so gross. Maybe it’s cus ‘Goodbye My Almost Lover’ is playing on my itunes. HAHA change song!

DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THESE PICTURES?! They are soo ancient and I look awful!

ORIGINATORS ;)

If there one thing that I can’t stand about you, it’s your whole I-am-too-good-for-you attitude. It thoroughly pisses me off because you are not all that you make yourself out to be and you never were. If anything, you’ve always been the boy who’s in the shadows, outshined by everyone else, struggling to make it big, struggling to get attention. Your constant desperate attempts are probably gonna be the reason why you’ll remain where you are, unwanted and unnoticed. Quit being so delusional and high strung because you have no license to do so ( I mean with that face, when will you ever?) OKAY BITCHY RADAR JUST WENT OFF I SHALL DRAW THE LINE RIGHT THERE.

OOO mum just came home, she bought for me my favourite mango juice with the little nata de coco bits and she bought cherries for me too! Like sexy blood red cherries that stain your lips like lipstick. Oh how absolutely lovely. And I really wanna go to the Avril concert but the good seats are probably all sold out by now D: Avril really has all the good songs. Like all the songs that a girl can possibly need for every occasion. Like right now, I’ve been listening to ‘Things I’ll Never Say’ hehehe can you infer? I really wanna go cus concerts are only fun if you know the words to all the songs and I do know the words to all her songs. I’m going shopping soon! I can get used to these hardcore-shopping-sprees-right-after-exams plan that me and Jessie have proposed. I realized that I have a lot of clothes that I’ve bought but I’ve hardly used them and I don‘t wanna use them! Like that red MNG skinnies and the skirts from M)phosis and a lot of other stuff. Anyone interested to buy??? :D Maybe I’ll post pictures of them in this space soon.

And Bestfriend time tomorrow! The proposed fireworks plan is still yet to be confirmed. Since I am so free tonight I shall plan what I wanna wear :D Yay tomorrow’s gonna be awesome, I can feel it in my bones. Girl talk, gossips, intense discussions about the USUAL topic. PLUS the camwhoring :D:D:DIt’s all gonna be good! I can’t think of anything else to say. I think imma go back to playing bowling or word challenge on Facebook and listen to my awesome Jimmy and One Republic songs. Haha wow look at my exhilirating activity-packed life.

12 lines can tell you how I feel.

2008-08-13T11:42:00.005+08:00

Just a quick one! I was searching for new songs and I found this! Britney by Bebo Norman. It's a pretty sweet song; I felt like crying cus I've always loved Britney. People have been so mean to her, it's unfair! Those no-lifers just can't leave her alone! So here's to Britney, much love.

Britney im sorry for the lies we told
we took you into our arms and then left you cold
britney im sorry for this cruel cruel world
we sell the beauty but destroy the girl
britney im sorry for your broken heart
we stood aside and watched you fall apart
im sorry we told you fame would fill you up
and money moves the man so drink the cup

i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
you never see it coming back
i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
but i can see it coming back for you
yes coming back for you

britney im sorry for the stones we throw
we tear you down just so we can watch the show
britney im sorry for the words we say
we point the finger as you fall from grace

i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
you never see it coming back
and i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
but i can see it coming back for you

yeah, its coming back for you, yeah, its coming back for you, yeah, its coming back for you, yeah

britney i do believe that love has come
here for the broken
here for the ones like us

i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
you never see it coming back
and i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
but i can see it coming back

i know love goes around the world we know
and you never see it coming back
you never see it coming back
i can see it coming back for you

I haven't been updating, partly cus I'm lazy and I don't really see the need to pen down the nitty gritty details of my everyday life. Long story short, quite a lot of things have been going on. School's been hectic. Kiss is like, soooo yesterday's news. I MISS MY LONG HAIR. It's still long(I WILL NEVER EVER DARE TO CUT MY HAIR SHORT), but it's noticeably shorter. AAAAAAND, there's a newcomer! :D It's starting to get so easy to hook them. Like everything else, it takes practice I suppose. HEH. Getting properly nervous for A levels. I'm in the midst of prelims now. Econs is tomorrow and imma fail it again, I know confirm plus chop. I'm hoping I'll work my magic and do miracles for A's like I did for O levels. Can't say enough how much I want this year to end. Then it's fun fun fun and (hopefully) party party party! I'm gonna be stocking up my closet for after A's! Been getting clothes online whenever I have the cash. HAHA thinking long term, baby. Screwed up priorities much? AAAAAND 1st September baby. I'M GOING TO TAKE OFF MY BRACES! :D I'm so so sooo excited! I've only worn it since Feb 2007 and I didn't even have to wear the band thingy! Dad keeps saying how I wasted his money cus I didn't really need to wear them, BUT HELLO! PERFECT TEETH for the rest of my life?? Hell yeah.
And there's this other thing that I'm trying to not get overtly excited about. Don't want to jinx it, you know?

PS! Can everyone reading this try to help me download "Oceanway Sunday" by Other Star People pleaseeeeeeeee. It's like impossible to find it anywhere! (other than -littleblackbook.blogspot) It's not on imeem, and not on LimeWire either! But LimeWire's always been a fucktard so I'm not surprised. Anyone who can find it pleaseeee tell me and send meeee I'm a sucker for good music, I spent 5 hours trying to find the title and artist of this song, only to find that it doesn't exist on LimeWire. So please kind souls, download it for me. And I will, umm... I will... thank you endlessly? OH. I can't download "Britney" by Bebo Norman either, so could you? THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU x 100000000000.

I found a video on YouTube that plays the oceanway sunday song, but the video is like beyond retarded. Sharkboy totally killed it. So play the video but don't look at sharkboy!

I bet you watched sharkboy despite what I said earlier!!! Haha I totally LOL-ed when I saw the second pose he made with the hand on the head thing. Totally not apt with the song lor.

I kinda, possibly, probably miss you a lot...

2008-07-08T22:15:00.003+08:00

I miss the days you'd greet me "Szia!"
And ask me, "Baby, how are ya?"
I miss you telling me you love me
And then talk about us and Bali
Words you said, ringing in my head
"I wanna wake up with you in my bed
With your hand on my chest"
Yeah... that was the best.
It's silly of me to feel this way
When I know from the very first day
You're all the way there and I'm over here
It's impossible to be together.
But a dreamer dreams of the impossible
And that dream usually crumbles.
I guess to put it really simply,
I miss my Kiss, come back to me.

Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same.

2008-06-29T17:13:00.013+08:00

Okay so I was done with blocks as of Thursday! Math was the last paper and the night before I had like ZERO mood to study cus I was already feeling the post-exam excitement. I set the alarm to 3am so that I could wake up to attempt reading up some stuff but OMG I didn’t. It was crazy and I kinda freaked out called Samuel at 6am in the morning asking him whether I should even turn up for the paper. I mean, I’ve always been unprepared for exams, but never THAT unprepared. I was glad 3 hours passed pretty quickly because as much as I wanted to sleep during the paper, I couldn’t cus I've already had a luxurious 7 hour sleep the night before, and I was starting to see funny shapes when I stared at the walls for too long. So after the paper Jessie Jac Allison and I went to Marina Sq to have some Pizza Hut to celebrate the end of the exams that we didn’t study for. Nic joined us after a bit and we just sat there talking and laughing pretty loudly :D It was freezing cold and me and Allison finally gave up trying to act cool cus the aircon was cooler than us, and got under my jacket. Food was good and company was even better. :D

I had my mind set on celebrating the end of the papers with the girls because it’s been sooooo long since we went out together. So Friday, we went shopping! And our mission was to zoom to MNG Marina because we saw tons of stuff the day before and (GASPS!) they still had S sizes! :D The 3 of us fell in love with the same super sexy-licious top and all of us bought it HAHA :D Went to town and went to MNG again! Bought another top which is soooo Barbie doll! I LOVE IT! I think we set the record for the most number of times we went into MNG in 2 days. Meifen joined us after her work and we headed to Far East. It was cool cus we got along naturally. I was so determined to spend the $100 limit and I did! :D We had fun camwhoring and I nearly split my sides laughing at those retards. Meifen kept snapping candid shots of us and we looked super unglam ESPECIALLY JESSIECHOONG. HAHAHA :D

ZEE FAMOUS PAU in the making.

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS :D

HI MEIFEN! :DMANGO SALE FRENZY

"EH JESSIE CMON! SHOW OFF YOUR BUTT!"

I LOOOOOOVE THIS PICTURE ♥

See the way Jessie forces people to take pictures with her!!! Violent girl.

Went home with a memory card full of pictures, my hands full of paper bags and possibly a stronger arm muscle :D I was so happy that I slept so soundly that night. People have different goals in life. Some wanna be lawyers or doctors and what have you. I just wanna be happy with important people in my life. My girlfriends who I can count on, my soul mate, my family, and a bed of clothes to jump on. You know like how people sweep autumn leaves into huge piles and kids run and throw themselves onto the pile of leaves? Well, my pile of leaves is a soft bed of clothes. Say what you wanna say but I feel so happy just thinking about it.

I wasn’t satisfied and I wanted to enjoy another day of no studying commitments. So I made impromptu plans with Jac to crash at my place to help me tidy up my sty. Nicole joined us after her floorball and we morphed into pigs in the sweltering heat. Binging and camwhoring and sleeping and dancing to random songs and laughing til we could have died. I want everyday to be like that. Today is Sunday and the after-exam excitement hasn’t ebbed away yet. But that awful drill is starting again tomorrow and I’ve got fuckloads of GP to do.

Anyway! I wanna cut my hair! Well not cut like CUT it but just get rid of all the damaged ends cus I can’t stand running my fingers through tangled hair. But I love the length now! Its just the way I like it, like halfway past my tummy and I can play with it when I’m bored, like try to tie knots with my hair and see the knot undo itself and then make more knots and try to make sure I don’t make a real knot. Hmmmm, okay people who’ve never had long hair probably have no idea what I’m going on about :/

And my island escapade was cool. We got a fucking awesome room above the waters with the best view evahhzzz. And the best part was that there was wireless! :D A Belgium dude tried chatting me up in the weirdest way! Hahaha he wanted to introduce me to techno, like I don’t already know what it is. The strange thing was, he totally looks like the tamer version of this creepy Technoviking dude that I saw on Youtube. So sorry, but I’ll pass. The full body Javanese massage was ummm, interesting… HAHA. And when they say FULL. They mean FULL. No kidding, they massaged every single part of your body except for the forbidden down under. If you could massage my internal organs I think they would have :S

You can talk about me, cause I'm a hot topic.

2008-06-19T11:40:00.001+08:00

OHMYGOSH PCD has this like, really awesome new song that I've been playing over and over and over again on my itunes. It just makes you wanna dance! Go crazy and fling your hair all about and shake your booty non-stop! I didn't check out the video til today and I must say, the Dolls look FABULOUS in this one. What's new huh? And the dance break at 3mins is flaming red hot! But for some reason I can't embed the MV into this space so go HERE to watch it.

And YAY! I finally got the guts to ask Kiss and Noelle said I was "subtly fabulous!" Haha! Congratulations to me! I'm really glad I did it cus we got the chance to ask each other stuff that we wanted to know but didn't know how to go about asking. For now, I've got "permission" to do whatever I want, until Kiss comes here. I'm excited about it all, but I don't wanna be let down if it doesn't happen.

And now. The Dilemma. I've suddenly got this huge resentment against studying. It was so bad that I couldn't bear to look at my notes or even pick up a pencil. It's like as if I've reached my I'm-so-done-with-studying phase of my life. I can't believe that it even crossed my mind, like, what would happen if I did a Heidi and just quit cus I feel like 'I'm not cut out for school'. But that's not gonna happen of course, I've got no choice but to sit through it. I just hate how much work has consumed my life and stop me from doing things that I really enjoy. And a selfish part of me was kinda relieved when Jessie told me that she was feeling the exact same thing! Like, thank God what I'm feeling is normal (or normal for me and Jessie at least!) Jessie babe, we MUST MUST MUST do something okay! No more thinking of shopping and clothes and fashion and dreaming of becoming wives to future millionaires! Because REALITY CHECK! YJC not HOLLYWOOD. Grrr how depressing.

I'll post up pictures of my 'Island Escapade' soon when I'm free and not so lazy. BYEBYE! <3

Szeretlek.

2008-06-10T10:10:00.011+08:00

I've got flu and I'm awake at 10.11 wth. Thanks to Mum who woke me up asking me to buy nasi lemak for her downstairs. So much for sleeping in the whole day. Which I shouldn't be doing of course, considering the meager amount of work that I've done in preparation for blockssss. I'm stuck between going back to sleep and waiting for babe to reply me on msn. I'm not very happy but yet again I find myself obliged to wait. Pouts. I doubt he reads this so I should be pretty safe hehe. And maybe the ideal will always be a faraway fantasy :(

Met Huda yesterday and it was love. We just planted out butts at Starbucks and talked about so many things! (I guess that we both won the bet eh? :D ) Talked about things that a few years back, we'd never thought we'd say. Funny how we change as we grow older. That line that you drew starts to fade, you cross it and you draw another one, much further away. Yet again, why confine yourself? I mean, how often do you get to be 18? Not that I have much of a life at 18 anyway. Choices, it's all about choices. And Choices=Difficult.

And it's odd how that (super yummy) Khai dude, who probably felt like DA MAN being surrounded by a horde, no, WHORE-d of Caucasian girls, still bothered to look over. Many times at that. Must be pretty embarrassing to get caught looking, especially by 2 'pretty ordinary' 18 year olds. Hahaha sucks ass to him. Meet again soon, I love you my gorgeous babe <3

JAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCC

2008-06-01T22:25:00.004+08:00

HELLO JAC JAC JAC JAC!!!!!!!!!!!
OOOOOOOOH YOU'RE MISSED TOO!
I'M GONNA START A REVOLT AGAINST THE MOSQUITOES!
I'M GONNA BE A MOSQUITO TERRORIST AND KILL THAT MOZZIE THAT BIT YOU!
AND I'M SEEING YOU ON TUESDAYYY AFTER GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!
GOSH I COULD HAVE GROWN A BEARD IN THAT TIME.
THEN I'LL BE A REAL PROPER TERRORIST!!
SO GLAD YOU ARE BETTER!
I'M TYPING IN CAPS CAN YOU SENSE MY ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!!!
I BET IT'S INFECTIOUS.
HAHAHAHA.
HOW'S THAT FOR A PUN.
LOVE YOU LOADS<3

I wanna leave on a jetplane.

2008-06-01T16:13:00.008+08:00

I love my room. Its funny how inanimate four walls can provide me with the comfort, security and warmth that I need when I’m at my lowest. It’s also funny how the one thing that can really make me smile now is a million miles away, stoned and asleep after rolls and rolls of weed. Sometimes I wish I can start a new life somewhere else. Have time stall for a few hours while I pack my bags and carefully select what and who I’d like to bring along in my escape.

I don’t want to be the apathetic student that I am. I don’t want to be angry at my parents. I don’t want to be angry cus there’s something wrong with my laptop. I don’t want to be angry at all. I don’t want to be the girl who spends her last years as a teen doing her A levels just so that she can study some more. I don’t want to be the girl who dreams but knows that her dreams are never going to come true. And I don’t want to be the girl who feels free only when she locks herself up in her room.

God, this is such a pathetic emo post.

AND HELLO DEAREST COUSIN AND HUDA RASID! HAVEN'T SEEN YAL IN AGES.
MISS THE TWO OF YOU MUCH?

NOELLE DAVID COOK IS MINEEEEEEEEE

2008-05-28T23:44:00.006+08:00

Cus I stopped watching AI since that weird grey haired dude won a few seasons back, I only got to know of this guy's existence like, 2 days before the AI finale when Noelle sent me his "Always be my baby" and I just fell in love with his voice instantly. It's soooo super sexy I can't imagine anything sexier.

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
haahaha
are u gonna blog!

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
NOPE
TOO TIRED LAAAAAAAAAAA

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
u also never do anything strenous!

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
EVEN IF I DO BLOG I'D JUST SAY HOW MUCH I WANT DAVID COOK NOW

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
-.-
haha
he in amerlika wor

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
I HEARD HE DATING SOMEONE
FUCKKKKKKKK
THE WAY HE CARRESSES THE MIKE STAND OMG I CAN JUST DIE OF LUST RIGHT NOW

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA
wahlao seh raging homones

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HIS FAULT!

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
hahahhahahah
ya like how rapists blame their victims
-.-

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHHAHAHAHA WAH I DONT MIND RAPING HIM

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
HAHHAHA
his bodyguards will knock you out cold loh!
or he use his mikestand poke u
wahhahaa

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GO AND DIE LA

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
i wanna migrate to amerlika and marry angmohs

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HE WILL LET ME RAPE HIM ONE LORRR

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
WTF
ure damn delusional HAHA

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I AM ARENT I
BUT IM ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT OF BEING DELUSIONAL
HAHAHAA
WAH HIS VOICE SUPER SEXY

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
hahahah i so can tell
if he got sex tape its either you or me la
hahahah

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHA SEX TAPE!!?!?!
NO LORRR
I PUSH U OFF THE BED
HAHHAHAHAAHHA

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
wahlao we 3some la
he will get so excited
haha

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
NOOOOOOOOOO CANNOT! WHO WANT TO THREESOME WITH YOU WAHLAOOOOOO
I PUSH YOU OFF THE BED LA PLEASE
LET ME PUSH YOU OFF THE BED LEH

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
eh wahlao i give u face loh

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHAA

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
eh u damn sadistic ur violent tendencies are for real man
i must warn cook

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT WARN HIM! HE LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM LORRR VIOLENT OR NOT
HAHHAHAHAHAHAAHA

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
ya la he rocker he accepts like weirdos and freaks alike
haha

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
what weirdooo im not a weirdoo

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
hahaha please u wanna push ur good friend off the bed!!!!!!!!!!

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HHAHAHHAHAHAHA! WAHLAO CANT YOU BE UNDERSTANDING! UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES I WONT PUSH YOU OFF THE BED ONE LA OF COURSE! BUT THIS IS DAVID COOK LEH!

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
WHAT! u shouldnt be PUSHING me off the bed in ANY CIRCUMSTANCES u asss!

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! OKAY FINE LA! THREESOME LA! I GO ASK MY HONEY NOW SEE HE AGREE OR NOT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAA

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
WAHLAO ASK WHAT ASK. HE SEE MAH NAME SURE AGREE JUST LOOK AT HIS THIRSTY PUPPYDOG FACE

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHHAHHAAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH
HE'S THIRSTING FOR ME LOR! NOW LOOK WHO'S BEING DELUSIONAL AH NOELLE!
AHHAHHAHAHA

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
HAHA HELLO WE ARE FRIENDS FOR A REASON!

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAH SHUT UP LA WAHLAOOOOOO
so sexyyy aiyoo why he do this to meee

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
hahahahahha
do u like seriously feel aroused?! u dont right!

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
NOOOO HAHAHA SIAOO!!!!!

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
HAHA OK PHEW

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
he's just super cute and his voice is like, i dont know! it just makes me melt!!!!

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
hahahaahah
he is quite the phenomenon singer

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
yaaaaaaaa his voice is like amazinggggggggggg
waaah really eh his voice is making me meltt
i tell you if i were antarctica
and i hear his voice
the sea levels will rise immediately

maybe yesterday's rhyme was for yesterday's time says:
hahha
brownie points for creativity

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAH SHUT UP BITCH

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. How's that for being delusional. But just look at him! Gosh, he can make a straight man turn gay. And that voice! OMG that sexy husky rocker voiceee I cannot take it manzz.

Oh yeah, and school can just like, go fuck itself or something.

Don't go round breaking young girls' hearts.

2008-05-24T11:59:00.005+08:00

GSS officially started yesterday!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOMGGGGGGG

I couldn’t concentrate when I was doing my GP paper. Kept thinking about shopping!

YESTERDAY MORNING:

“The driving force behind the Singaporeans keen competitiveness in trying to achieve academic excellence lies in the government’s…I think I need more shorts. And decent tops too. And maybe a white dress. OMG I neeeed a tube skirt. Should I get new heels? Okay I should start by concentrating on shopping for clothes first. Then shoes. I need more hot hot heels. Aiya shit I’m not talking to mum. No one to sponsor me.”
I looked across the room at Jessie. She wasn’t writing; just staring at the paper with her pen in hand. I wondered if she was thinking about the sales too.
“Should I go town after paper? But I didn’t bring enough cash with me today. And what about class after school? Class. Shopping. Class. Shopping. Which one to choose? Okay I know. I’ll keep quiet about shopping, then if Jessie asks me to go shopping later, then I’ll go town with her. Oh shit. 5 minutes gone. Okay let’s see.. Lies in the government’s efforts in making Singapore a well-educated society…”

In the end Jessie did ask me to go shopping! HAHA! Like I didn’t see that coming! So we skipped over to town. Sales were pretty disappointing. Mango Zara Forever 21 haven’t really started yet and Topshop was blah. But we bought bottoms from Forever21 at rather reasonable prices! Shopping was getting pretty tame, none of the fighting-for-clothes-squeeze-through-crowds-fuck-no-sizeS kinda thing yet.

UNTIL! WE WENT OVER TO M)PHOSIS AT ISETAN! HAHAHAHAHAHA. I swear the sales there was MINDBLOWING. EVERYTHING 50-70% OFF! LIKE OMGGGG. My heart was palpitating, my eyes were transfixed on the amount of clothes that were up for sale. After like ½hr of choosing clothes we wanted to try but we were only allowed maximum 4 pieces! Like WTH 4 pieces?? In a sale?? GET REAL!! So we took another 15mins to decide what not to take into the fitting room, and hid them in their bags incase we wanted to try them later. The salespeople were being such cunts. They didn’t let us share fitting rooms. But we did anyway, when they weren’t looking. As expected, it was really squeezy! And I almost fell out of the fitting room several times! We spent like, I don’t know 45 minutes in the fitting room trying to decide what to get because everything we tried looked super amazing! The sales people got really annoyed at us, and we were really annoyed at them for telling us to come out quick. BITCHES! So in the end, we got 2 bottoms and 1 top from M)phosis. So STFU stupid salescunts cus we just spent like $100, no thanks to your bad service. So we shopped from like 12-6pm and Samuel said he calculated for us and concluded that we lost 1000 calories! WOW I CAN DO THIS EVERYDAY.

Anyway, Me and mum are talking again, ever since that crazy argument. Where I went into my room and started throwing things around in frustration. Smashed my strawberry keychain when I threw in to the floor, broke my DKNY perfume bottle, nearly spoiled public property and scared myself when I kicked the lift door real hard and it stopped moving for a few minutes. Cold war’s not healthy, not even if it’s for a few days. But the point is! Now that we’re talking again, we’re bound to go shopping so GSS HERE I COME(again)! Mum wanted me to follow her to Msia to check out the shoes in Vincci, but I said not today cus I’m going out to study! Because my attempts to study for the past few days (or weeks rather!) (okay maybe months!) have gone up in smoke. And I just had my crazy dose of shopping yesterday, so today’s study day! And I better get ready now, meeting best friend in a while! Bye! <3

When your eyes turn green in the winter, I'll kiss you and hold you tighter.

2008-05-17T18:16:00.038+08:00

Hello, I’m back (: Missed me much? I’ve not been blogging cus I’ve been busy with bloody school. When I’m not busy with school, I’m either too tired or too lazy to blog. In fact, I don’t even feel like blogging now. I stared into the screen for 10 minutes before I actually started typing. But my fingers are moving now, so I might as well continue and get the momentum going.

So anyway. I’ve been watching Skins online. I stumbled upon the trailer on youtube and it pulled me in instantly. It’s a British teen drama series. And it’s awesome stuff. There’s a lot of explicit content though. I reckon it’s M18. The show circles around the life of a bunch of college teenagers. (Who are also taking their A’s!) Their lives differ ever so greatly from ours, I was pretty stunned at the way they’re so nonchalant about certain things. Like, drugs and sex, for example. The storyline’s great. Each episode focuses on the development of a certain character. My favourite’s Chris. He’s a party animal. But he’s funny and cute and romantic too. He’s played by JOE DEMPSIE, my new love. I hate the ending of season 2. I cried buckets when Chris… okay I shan’t spoil it for those of you who intend to watch it. To be honest, Maxxie's cuter than Chris. But he's gay in Skins, so maybe that's why he doesn't appeal to me. If you watch the show, you'd fall in love with Chris too, believe me.

Joe Dempsie who plays Chris in Skins.

AWW SO CUTE.

Mitch Hewer! Plays Maxxie, the (cute) openly gay dude.

Jogathon was pretty cool. Jac, Ginny, Nicole and I conveniently MISSED the start of the race and just lingered around with the helpers and the boys who have finished their run. No one even bothered us or asked us why we weren’t running. Hahaha. After that, we walked all the way to the other side of East Coat and ate like hungry wolves at Lagoon. After which, we took pictures at the beach and laughed at friends getting wet in the water.

Desmond surprised us all by coming in 5th!

COOL! We look like we're glowing! :D

Yesterday was Jessie’s birthday! HAPPY SEXY EIGHTEENTH CHOONG! That morning was really crazy. Allison and I hid behind the stalls of the new canteen (that’s yet to open!) when we were supposed to be in class singing the National Anthem. Blowing the balloons and putting the present together. I swear I felt like fainting after blowing all those balloons! We surprised Choong in the canteen and played around with the balloons like little kids.

Then we realized we were late for Chemisty lecture! We ran all the way to the auditorium and when we realized that we were super late and we couldn’t enter without being noticed, we did an about-turn and ran back to the canteen. When we thought we were safe, Allison came zooming like a jetplane towards Jessie and I, telling us that she saw fishball teacher in the office. Afraid we’d get caught for skipping chem, we took our things and started to dash in different directions. HAHAHAHA.

With the balloons and all, we sneaked into the library and handed them over to the lady librarian to help us hold on to it, at least till the end of the day. The male librarian was such a prick, showed his displeasure and said something about balloons popping bla bla bla.

Looks pretty doesn't it?

YUMMY SHIT :O

"May Jessie's breasts never stop growing til she's 38. Amin." -Dirah
"HAHAHA! Wah like that I'll be seriously hunched back la! "-Jessie

Unintentionally vogue! How cool is that. Comes naturally eh? :D

My parents wanted to go to Malaysia for a short weekend getaway. I told them I couldn’t go cus I’ve got loads of work to do. I was hoping they’d go without me, so that I can have the whole house to myself. They almost agreed, but NO, my hopes were short lived D; A levels in about 5 months according to our teacher. And I haven’t even started studying. Bloody hell. The kids in Skins didn’t even start worrying until 5 days before the exams. And the Great Singapore Sale is starting!! Omg I’m soo excited!!

Piss off bitch.

2008-04-19T19:39:00.009+08:00

What do you do when your bitch of a teacher starts getting catty?

I’m so pissed now I don’t even feel like I’m up for ranting my heart out to anyone. But it has to come out one way or another and this blog seems like a good place to fall back on.

I can’t believe you got all personal on me. You’re saying that my grades aren’t a big deal? Fuck I’m doing better than 70% of the school for your subject. So whatever claims you made yesterday about me being unmotivated is not valid. And I've never handed in sub-standard work, so what you were going on about was completely rubbish. I can vividly remember what she said to my parents:

Her: What does she always do when she gets home? I get the feeling that she spends most of her time watching TV.
Parents: She’s always in her study room
Her: Is her door always open or is it closed?
Parents: She always closes her door.
Her: Ahh, you see, that’s where the problem lies. She closes the door so you won’t know what she is doing inside.
ME: But my dad’s always outside watching TV so I can’t leave my door open because I won’t be able to concentrate.
Her: So now you are putting the blame on your father for you grades looking like this?

WTF, SERIOUSLY! DID I SAY ANYTHING THAT SUGGESTED THAT I WAS BLAMING MY FATHER FOR MY GRADES? ANY PERSON IN THE RIGHT MIND CAN TELL THAT I DID NOTHING TO IMPLY THAT. DO YOU HAVE A DISABILITY TO INFER? TO THINK THAT YOU’RE TEACHING GP.

Her: What else does she always do at home?
Parents: Her computer is always on. She likes chit chatting (the term old people use to refer to MSN) and online shopping. And she’s always messaging (another old people term for SMS)
Her: Now, you must remember that as parents, the computer is your possession. You bought it, and she hasn’t earned a single cent in her life. I suggest that you take away her computer and control her use of the internet. Take it away, and when she needs to use it, she must ask you for permission. And when she does use it, you make sure you monitor which sites she enters. As for her handphone, make sure she switches it off when she gets home. And tell her friends not to call or contact her after a certain time. I can tell that Nadirah is the kind of girl who still prioritizes fun and social life before work. And in that sense, she’s still being very childish. I'll give you my handphone number, feel free to call me. If I hear anything bad, I'm sure I'll find ways to deal with her. You can't run Nadirah, it is a small school.

I AM SO FURIOUS NOW THAT ANGRY TEARS ARE WELLING UP IN MY EYES. WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?!?! FIRSTLY YOU’RE INTRUDING INTO MY LIFE, AND YOU’RE PREACHING MY PARENTS ON HOW TO RAISE ME?! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! YOU’RE SUCH AN ARROGANT CUNT. YOU DIDN’T EVEN STAND UP OR SHAKE MY PARENTS' HANDS LIKE THE OTHER TEACHERS DID WHEN THEY FIRST MET. AND YOU TOTALLY DISMISSED THE FACT THAT I’M PERFORMING WELL IN YOUR CLASS AND SIMPLY JUMPED TO PAINT AN EXAGGERATED PICTURE OF ALL MY SHORTCOMINGS AND MISBEHAVIOUR.

I don’t know what your intentions were, but I hope you’re satisfied now. You probably think that I have an attitude problem. And you’re damn right, I do. Towards you that is. From the very beginning, you’ve decided to not like me and you couldn’t possibly make it any more blatant. It’s that subtle girl-hate-girl vibes that you give off to me, except that you’re not a girl. You’re a bitter creature and you’re ¾ way through your life and you’re inching closer and closer to your grave and you’re kicking for yourself for not living a more meaningful life. And don’t even get me started on how you look. I mean woman, please, if you want to be a bitch, at least makes sure you don’t look like a joke. Your overly made up face looks like the art work of a 5 year old, who is only familiar with the use of crayons and colour pencils.

And I usually refrain from saying anything bad about my parents but this time, I’m really furious and if I don’t let it all out I’m going to go insane. You know the sickest thing about parents? They love to take in all the bad stuff and filter the good things people say about their kids. It’s like, "Save all that good stuff, I don’t want to hear it." I even told them yesterday that I got an A for A level Project Work, and get this. They said :"It's Project Work only." And when I raised my displeasure about it, all they could say was: "Okay, an A is not bad." An A is not bad they said. NOT BAD. I wonder what the fuck a GOOD is to them. And when they spot the slightest mistake, they’ll fuss over it and blow it up into such a colossal problem and they use it against you each and every fucking time. And it’s sick because the bitch blithely hyperbolized my bad points and made it seem like I’m some sort of juvenile delinquent who needs extra careful monitoring. Like God, why don’t you suggest they cuff my hands and chain me up to a chair while you’re at it?

You hate me because I don't laugh when you abuse my classmates with heavy sarcasm.
You hate me because I'm capable of performing well even without your help.
You hate me because I'm just a hard-faced bitch like you.

You can try your best to bring me down in every way you can but I sure as hell won't let you break me.

Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts, are gonna say
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride,
Everything, everything will be just fine.
Everything, everything will be alright.

It's been 5 minutes and I still can't think of a title.

2008-04-16T20:49:00.008+08:00

I spent the whole of Monday with Furbs. The night before, we planned to meet up early in the morning so that we could be one of the first few at the Polyclinic and escape the arduous 3 hour long wait. But unfortunately, I had the mother of all bad headaches the night before and the task of thinking of what time to set my alarm to was too taxing for me. So that night, I was lying on my bed, phone in one hand and the other arm over my eyes, struggling, trying my hardest to count the hours; how much time I need to to shower and bus to Northpoint and all. And then. I fell asleep. Without setting the alarm. I didn’t wake up til Furbs called me when she was at Northpoint. So our very well thought out plan to be one of the first few patients flew right out of the window. Bummer. Because of me (boohoo!) we spent close to 4 hours at the Polyclinic just to get an MC.

AND FREAKING SHIT I’M NOW 18 AND I HAVE TO PAY ADULT FEEEE MONKEHHHH I IS UNHAPPEHHHH!!!

So we went over to my place. Allison was all excited because I told her we’ll cook omelette and maggi with sausages and stuff. But as I expected, she left all the cooking (and washing!) to me. So I whipped up a scrumptious meal (testified by Furbs herself!). And by the way, just in case you were wondering. Furbs and Allison are the same person.

After that, we sat in my study room, and tried to get cracking on some work. But nooo. I started to feel sleepy so I took a nap and in the meanwhile, Furbs went online and conveniently forgot to wake me up. When I got up eventually, I forced myself to sit down to get some work done. But as always, there’s always a source of distraction to avert my attention from my notes. This time, it wasn’t the magnetic pull of the Internet. Nor was it the lure of food from the kitchen.

It was Furbs constantly singing (very audibly) to herself and engaging in mindless soliloquy. I could have strangled her. If I had a younger sibling as annoying as she was, I predict that they’d have a rather short lifespan.

So we gave up studying. It was a fight we were sure to lose. So we decided. Why not have some fun with my camera? And since camwhoring was becoming such a norm, we’d do something different!

PRESENTING:
The long awaited collaboration of the 2 hottest stars of today! Nadra Spears and A. Diddy! A. Diddy, as we all know, is the hero for all vertically challenged men out there. In a recent survey at Dating Services, it has been found that 95% of women now find shorter men sexually appealing. As quoted by A. Diddy himself, “I’ve never been ashamed of my height yo. You know what I’m sayin’. I’d like to think of it as hot stuff bein’ compressed into a tiny package. When you open it, dawg, you’ll be surprised at what you see. Yo’ feelin’ me.” Very wise words, very wise indeed.

“Oi why you steal my spotlight!”
“Haha okay sorry ah!”
Furbs brandishing the wand and that priceless expression on her face makes me laugh each and every time I watch this video. You look like you're a Fairy Godmother from hell doing the friggin rain dance! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Why you so retarded Furbs. Can you please tell me why.

Jessie McDonald will also be making her debut appearance in an upcoming video featuring A. Diddy and Nadra Spears. It is uncertain as to whether there maybe a change in plans for Jessie McDonald to launch her career with a collaboration with Hash Brown and Not-worth-a Cent instead. Stay tuned for more celebrity news.

beauty in all imperfections says:
HAHAH.
CRAZY AH YOU ALL
but its okay.
i am very very sure MR Spencer wld be so so proud of his drama students
SO PROUD I TELL YOU
i think you guys can win the OSCAR. just keep up with the good work guys!
BRAVOOOOO
tell her that, i said she've got real talent
haha
YOU GUYS CAN JUST GO BE STAND UP COMEDIANS OR SOMETHING

Scream.

2008-04-13T14:16:00.003+08:00

Wow Keri Hilson may have just dominated the limelight in this video. She wins the sexy title for me without even trying too hard. For once, my eyes weren't fixed on Nicole. Her appeal is ebbing away? Getting old even. Maybe she's just one of those girls who needs a whole bunch of other girls behind her to make her look good.
Hmm... I'm still trying to understand that phenomenon.

I'll let the bumper speak.

2008-04-12T23:31:00.005+08:00

Something I forgot.

2008-04-11T00:35:00.004+08:00

I met best friend today for a swim! After my last lesson (which was chem prac urgh) I hurried off to the pool that’s conveniently situated beside her house. When we were outside the swimming complex buying the tickets, who should I see but my dear old coach, Mr Mus! (: (: (: He caught my eye and I just stared at him for a few seconds not really registering in my mind that it really was him. Then his finger started jabbing that silver bell at the counter. He pointed to me, calling me to talk to him through that hole in the glass window of the office. He asked me how I was, where I was studying and stuff. He asked me if I was there for CCA. I felt so guilt-stricken at that point! Like, how do you tell your ex-coach that you’ve been slacking off ever since you stopped lessons with him, and this was the first time you’re setting foot inside a swimming complex after 5 long years?

I borrowed goggles from him because mine’s been abandoned for 5 years and so I have no clue which corner of my house it currently resides in. I did a few laps and I was astounded to find out that I still have my speed! Stamina’s been punctured though. It was pretty nerve-wrecking because Mr Mus sat at the tall lifeguard chair at the opposite end of the pool, and I couldn’t help but feel that he was assessing me the whole time. Scrutinizing my strokes and comparing how I fared from the last time he saw me swim.

But it felt good to have him there. It’s that comfort you feel when you see something or someone familiar, when you return to a place you haven’t been for ages. It made it feel like it was last time all over again. When I got into the pool, I felt like I was in my element [I am a pisces afterall! HahaJ] That cool water soaking my hair. The strong smell of chlorinated water. The feeling of having my ears blocked.

Swimming’s one of the few sports that I actually don’t mind doing (aside from dancing, if that can even be called a sport!) I love it because you won’t feel sweaty and sticky when you swim. You can’t even feel that uncomfortable heat oozing out from your body cus the water takes it all away. I expected myself to only be able to do max 5 laps because I’m a lazy unfit shit who skips PE and ate more than she could afford to. Yes ATE. I’m religiously keeping to my diet now. So it’s hello healthy lifestyle for me. Here’s to more Thursdays at the pool! (:

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Expression is necessary in life, if you want to grow. In fact, it's the only way to show the world what you feel, while opening the door to feedback from others. Debate and conflicting opinions aren't necessary bad things -- they are often the key to improving yourself. So don't shy away from voicing your thoughts just because you think they will tick off everyone in the room. Getting a discussion going gives everyone the opportunity to learn something -- or to solidify their own positions even further.

Spicy just like hot sauce, careful you might burn it up.

2008-04-10T00:02:00.004+08:00

You think you gansta just cus you did time.
Well listen here gansta, don't cross the line.

I've been doing nothing but watch So You Think You Can Dance Videos on You Tube. That along with other dance videos that just makes my tummy squirm with so much delight, you'd think there were stars and butterflies and other funny things in there that will make me tingle. You know that feeling that you get when you watch dance videos? That built up sensation inside of you that's telling your body to: "Start dancing now or Im'ma explode with all this pent-up energy!" I feel pretty sad watching these videos cus I'm reminded of how long I haven't been in a part of a dance performance of any sort. But, oh well.

Currently, my mp3 is loaded with upbeat "nigga songs" as JAC JAC puts it. So whenever I'm by myself, say, in the bus or something, I'd blast the music and I shut my eyes and picture the dance routine for that particular track. Often, I'd get carried away and I'll end up swaying gently to the music and when I open my eyes, I'll see people looking at me with shifty eyes :S

I absolutely love love love the last video of the top 8. Awesome stuff. And Travisss, my baby from season 2! God, does it feel good to watch him dance again. So hypnotizing. So, so hypnotizing.

Travis is the hot sex yo. I'm digging the way he struts with so much attitude! Wooooh.

I'm spinning around, move outta my way.

2008-04-08T23:17:00.004+08:00

I'm in dire need of some upbeat hiphop/reggae/pop music, a dancefloor, a fantastic sound system, mirrors and some awesome choreography. And oh, a hot outfit to top it all off.

I miss dancing so bad ): ): ):

Women of substance, creative and confident. (edited!)

2008-04-07T00:58:00.002+08:00

trainwreck appeal says:
dirah i feel like crying
i'm like looking at junior's friendster photos
and it makes me so saddddddddddd
i miss those times so bad now
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
cedar times?
me misses it too
):
trainwreck appeal says:
sigh
all that blue, all that grey
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
all that yellow too. that yellow that we despised we grew to love.
trainwreck appeal says:
i'm so wearing cedar pe tee tmr
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
i really do miss it
trainwreck appeal says:
me tooooo
wow i really felt the PANG
like omg someone hit me real hard or something
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
i felt that pang this moning when i was singing YJ's school song. or rather NOT singing it when i was supposed to
its really diff u know
i was really proud of cedar you know
trainwreck appeal says:
i was REALLY proud to be in cedar now it's....
same here
no need for educating
cos we got that in cedar thanks
here's just all for the paperwork
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
yeaaah. you know what i miss
i miss that cedar spirit
the times when the WHOLE school would come down to cheer at the national stadium for the track and field meet against all the other big shot schools. we'd cheer so exuberantly and drown all the other feeble cheers until the other schools eventually give up cheering and resort to covering their ears instead. we were the only school that stayed out in the rain to cheer! how awesome is that please.
trainwreck appeal says:
it doesnt even have to be that!
just the spirit itself
every day wearing that uniform
wow damn it felt good
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
yeah that gorgeous blue with that grey
teck whye's such a wannabe
BUT WILL NEVER BE!
trainwreck appeal says:
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i know!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
hahaha
you know
i have this hope
that YJ will be cool one day and have like, a wear-your-secondary-school-uniform day
trainwreck appeal says:
that?
hahahah
omg me too
me too
as in now that you mentioned it!
hahha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
then i can proudly declare to the world that i am a god damn cedarian mother fuckerssssss
trainwreck appeal says:
hahahahhaha
omg
halloween
this year
i think i'll go as a cedarian
hahhahahaha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
); ): ):
you know i regret not having many photos of our cedar days
trainwreck appeal says:
yes man
seriously me too
like i see the juniors capturing all those moments and i'm like fuckk
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
YAAAAAAAA
I KNOWWWWWWWWWW
like be yourself day! our class was covered in polka dots
i cant believe we didnt capture that moment
trainwreck appeal says:
OH I HAVE
OMG I HAVE
HOLD ON

My Class/Jukebox partner!

trainwreck appeal says:
how fugly!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
OMGGGGGGGGGGTHE PICTURESSSSSSS
HAHAHHAHAHHAHA
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
WE LOOK SO YOUNG AND DISGUSTING
trainwreck appeal says:
i know
look damn young!

Be Yourself Day '05. 4C decided to go for celebrities from the 70s-90s. I was Madonna and OH I sang Papa Don't Preach in front of the judges haha! It was so fun cus everyone was digging up old clothes to get that Grunge look. We had our very own CentrePoint Kids and our 70's version of Spice Girls too! We decked our class in black white and red polka dots! It looked so retro! And we won best class for Be Yourself Day I think. Well, no surprises there!

trainwreck appeal says:
omg that 3c background!
omg we look so young and somehow UNSURE!
wah thank god i became prettier man hahahaha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHA YAAAAA
THANK GOD!
trainwreck appeal says:
wah dirah you looked damn gross
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
omg im CRINGING right now at how stupid i looked back then
trainwreck appeal says:
hahahahah
imagine
i had to see that thing everydayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
poor me i tell you
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
shut up bitch. its going up on my blog nonetheless
trainwreck appeal says:
WTF
OMG NOOOOOOOOOO

dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
you know
come to think of it
i looked more like a cindy lauper than a madonna
on be yourself day
trainwreck appeal says:
yeahhhhhhh
i know what you mean
i think we all looked like vids for cyndi lauper's girl just wanna have fun!
hahah
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
OH DO YOU REMEMBER! THE NIGHT BEFORE!
WE WERE ON THE PHONE
trainwreck appeal says:
WE WERE
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
SERIOUSLY DISCUSSING WHAT WE WERE GOING TO WEAR
trainwreck appeal says:
OMG WHAT WHEN WHAT
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
YOU WERE RESEARCHING ON THE INTERNET ON THE 70S FASHION AND I WAS READING UP MAGAZINES
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
WE WERE SO ON ABOUT IT!
trainwreck appeal says:
omg we wereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
hahahhahahahahahahahhahaha
we SO were!!!!!!!!!!!!
wtf man
we suck
yeah i rmb now
that's where i got the idea for the half finger gloves thing!
hahahahahaha
and i actually cut my ugly pair of orange gloves!
and i wore PLATFORMS OMG PLATFORMS
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
hahahahahhahahahah
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
YAA OMGGGGGG
AND TRIANGULAR RAINBOW EARRINGS
HAHAHAHHAHAHA
trainwreck appeal says:
hhahahahah fucker
shut up

Racial Harmony Day 06'. I'm sorry RHD 05 is too fugly I can't put it up. Taken in the courtyard. We were having maths I think? But we were so distracted Mr Suresh agreed to stop lesson and we headed down to the courtyard to take a class photo. Such a good sport! I miss our UNCLE BALA! Most people wore Sarees but I wore a red cheongsam! I still remember Huda calling me a MAMA-SAN because of the really super high slit which I LOVE.

TAKE TWO!

Ahh Sports Day 06'! I've yet to find pictures from cheerleading 05'. I think I still have that blue and white skirt somewhere! Cheerleading sure was fun. That cheerleader skirt and the blue and silver pom poms and the wacky hairdo. It was funny cus everyone's always trying to beat Oleander and everyone would bitterly claim that they weren't THAT good. But seriously, I still think we did better than... Okay nevermind. HAHA(:

GRADUATION DAY! D; We used chalk and drew on the floor at the back of our class. Everyone was so emo! We completely BAWLED when we were on stage singing Vitamin C's Graduation and At the Beginning. Both during the rehearsals and the real Graduation Day itself. We hugged each other and sang out hearts out, knowing that in a few days time, we were going to be called "EX-Cedarians". More about Graduation Day HERE.

Our climb from an F9 to an A!

4C! Oh man I miss 4C. I remember all those times we skipped school to study on our own because prelims were drawing near. And teachers would disapprove of it but they would never really reprimanded us for doing it because they secretly knew that we're more productive that way. And during assembly, our class will be like, this really short line of say, 12 students compared to the other classes with close to full attendance. And how we would bargain and bargain with Mrs Foo to have an 'intellectual discussion" with us instead of giving us work because "we just had chemistry/maths you cannot torture us like this" and she would relent. Not that we did much "intellectual discussion"; she'll usually end up digressing about her son and her ex students etc etc. The slackest and the most rebellious class, but the coolest and most fun for sure.

PROM! Diana was Miss 4C. Sheena and Cynnthia were our class models. And I was 4C's mambo princess! I didn't win but it's cool. Having people tell me that I was better than the winner was good enough for me(:

And since I can't recall everything that happened on Prom, I'm stealing a part of Huda's (very detailed) Prom Post:

Dirah had "red hawt" stamped all over her body on stage that night for the title of Mambo Queen! We all know the reason she didnt win was cos the teachers just really cant handle a wild child. You were great babe. Hot stuff.

Besides, everyone (classmates from the other table joined us at the back to OOH and AHH at her talent) agreed that if we were guys our little guys would be standing straight up watching her! We were all going "Omg. That's damn hot. Omg. She's good" etc..

And Miss Cedar was won by Achala! No sweat Diana. (: She too was great on stage with her LRD (little red dress) strutting her stuff!

Okay, prom was prom? Hahah. My hair remained obedient for only a couple of hours before it went mad. But well -shrugs- that's curly unmanageable hair for ya.

The later part got exhausting pretty quickly!

"OMG. I'm so hot! I'm damn tired! DAMN TIRED! " and then we'd continue dancing. LOL. Heels were kicked aside and woohoo!

Oh yeah! Dirah and I noticed something about someone that's got to be shit embarrassing! HAHA. Well, guys will be guys, no matter the rank, no matter the place. If it's hot, it's up. (;

Some pictures from Cedar's Prom night 2006!

Fellow mambo princess(:

Mrs Chew I miss chewzxzxzxxz.

I was so skinny! WAS. D;

One hour was seriously not enough.
Irah, Murny, Nuzie, Huda, me, J.

Huda, Hui Yin, Clara, Renny and I.

J, Diana, Huda and I.

O level Results Day! I was a pretty happy kid. I really really didn't expect myself to do as well as I did. Well by my standards at least.

My favourite Cedarians.

My last few days of wearing the Cedar uniform! I remember I was so adamant against wearing YJ's uniform because I wanted to relish my last moments as a Cedarian. I mean, come on, who in the right state of mind will willingly give up wearing that beautiful blue and grey?

Failed jump shot hahaha we're such losers :D

I miss Cedar. I miss being a Cedarian. It's what sets me apart from you.

Please go away. I'm allergic to losers.

2008-04-06T16:03:00.012+08:00

I’ve never come across anyone who can peeve me this much without even intending to. Heck, I’ve never even met you. You can read this and still not know that I’m talking about you. That’s how annoying you are.

#1 YOU ARE LAME.
You try too hard. You try so hard to make an impression to get attention. I’m not saying you’re an attention whore. You’re just a wannabe. BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE. Quit being a copy cat. You religiously make a mental note of everything cool that you see and remind yourself to stop being lame. Trying too hard to not be lame makes you ten times lamer. Your pseudo-friendliness irks me. Stop trying to gain my approval because that will never happen.

#2 QUIT WORSHIPPING HIM
He’s your boyfriend not a cute member of a boy-band. You gush about him so openly it makes me go bleahhh. I mean, it’s alright to love someone that much. But each time you do it, you put him on a higher level of complacency and that’s just outright dumb. Like gosh, you’re in love fine, but you’ve only been together for barely 5 minutes and you’re talking like it’s been 5 years. Get a grip. And uhh hello? In case you don't remember. You were second choice. He doesn't deserve first class treatment.

There. I feel much better now that I've got that off my chest. (:

PS: If anyone's gonna ask me who this is about, I'm not telling! HEHEHE!

My lipstick mark still on your coffee cup.

2008-04-02T00:34:00.009+08:00

.
Pisces 2nd April:
Before you do anything for anyone else today, do something for yourself! It doesn't have to a big thing, either. Tell yourself you look super sassy. Buy yourself an extra fancy coffee drink. Book yourself a massage appointment. Take an extra long lunch and go see a movie you've been dying to see. Take the initiative to treat yourself like royalty! It's the best example you can set for others. Things that are valuable need to be cared for. And you are something of major value!

And you know what I'm going to do for myself! I'm going to allow myself the luxury of coming to school late tomorrow! Well it's not like I'm doing it for fun. I have yet to finish my Gatsby essay and Thermochemistry tutorial. If I could cut the whole of tomorrow I would, but knowing Chung, he'd demand for an MC and I don't think I'm up for faking an illness and having a doctor peer sceptically at my throat and say, "You look fine," and then force me to pay for a load of unnecessary medicine.

Plus I don't want to miss econs lecture.

Been busy and tired and busy and tired these few days and this quicky is cus I have a sudden impulse to write something here. And okay fine, I'm here cus I don't want to get started on Gatsby cus I don't know what to write but I know I really should be doing that instead of narrating pointlessly to you about the lazy procrastinator that I am.

So I will now say goodnight and fix my eyes on page 117 of The Great Gatsby and analyze the methods and concerns of the passage so that I can proudly hand up my work tomorrow and have Spencer beam at me for being such a wonderful student. Wait no, I'm coming late which means I'll be missing his lesson, which means he can't beam at me for being a wonderful student.

You see? I'm supposed to say Goodnight and end about 50 words ago but I still haven't done so and that's how much I'm not looking forward to fixing my eyes on page 117 of The Great Gatsby and analyze the methods and concerns of the passage.

Okay nights xoxo.

PS: Ms Koh was talking about how monopolies will not be able to make more profits if they remain complacent and do not engage in R&D.

(Holding up a coin) " If they remain complacent, then their PENNIES will not grow."

She didn't even realize why half of the class were laughing so badly. The other half of course, are holy saints and corrupt thoughts would never dare penetrate their minds.

Okay goodnight for real xoxo.

What would I do without my Nikon.

2008-03-24T23:52:00.004+08:00

So I didn't have school today and I made plans to meet Delylah for the usual girl talk. When she called me she was still at the airport but I was all dressed and ready to leave the house! So I sat infront of the laptop and camwhored to kill time. Haha what's new.

And who says camwhoring has to be all about looking nice and proper? Amused myself with all the funny expressions I could think of. Started talking and laughing to myself too! "(Snap! Snap!) OMG Dirah you're capable of such fugly faces! HAHA!" NAH. Your turn to laugh.

Kept changing my MSN display picture until people started asking whether they are products of my lastest camwhoring sessions. HAHA I am so shameless. (:

Noelle's object of affection. HAHAHA!

2008-03-23T02:14:00.003+08:00

we're the elite of just alright says:
anw that desperado friendster guy said hi to me but i was away now hes online muahaha
but hes so pathetic later i have to fend him off
ok let me think about it
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHA
aiya just play along la quite fun what
we're the elite of just alright says:
OKOK fine

bastard! hes not replying!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
wah!
so bitchy ah he!
we're the elite of just alright says:
ya!!!
so annoying be glad i even said hi !!
we're the elite of just alright says:
shld i be bitchy and say so u added me on msn to not talk to me?
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHA
it may sound like you're bitter he's not talking to you
go like: eh mister, are you going to talk or not? the whole idea of adding is to talk. if not i'll block you okay.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
we're the elite of just alright says:
are u serious! thats waaay more bitter
haha okok slowly
we're the elite of just alright says:
so you added me on msn to not talk to me?
[Marc - ] is your life saver says:
but i get the impression ur too busy to chat wif
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
then then! have you replied!
say:
if i'm busy wouldnt my status say so? thats what they're for you know
HAHAHA
we're the elite of just alright says:
omg noooo
hahahahah
okok i use it in a more subtle way!
i said not busy now!
omg he must totally loathe me
haha but anw hes not replying la
must be super turned off
hahaha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
tell him!!!!
eh you dont talk then i block you ah
3
2
1
bye
then you block!
we're the elite of just alright says:
SO BAD!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA
we're the elite of just alright says:
he said ic
HAHAHA
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
QUITE FUNNY LEH
NOT FUNNY MEH
we're the elite of just alright says:
ya funny la but still!
okay la hes quite nice he went on to intro himself HAHA
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
just only?
we're the elite of just alright says:
ya
HAHA
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
tell him , hi i'm noelle
i'm your worst nightmare ehehehehe
then say oh wait. why would i even want to be in your dreams
yuck
HAHAHAHA
we're the elite of just alright says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
OMG STOP DIRAH STOP
we're the elite of just alright says:
omg u mean piece of shit!!
thats going in ma blog!!!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
we're the elite of just alright says:
[Marc - ] is your life saver says:
nice to know u noelle..ur beautiful =)
shit how corny can he get!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
hahaa tell him you're not
but i can help make the balance
HAHAHAH
WAH SHUT UPPPP
we're the elite of just alright says:
hhahhahahahahha
ya u seriously should im laughing like nobodys business
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHAHA
we're the elite of just alright says:
hes asking about past r/s experiences
i should kill him by saying i was bi
HAHA
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG OMG HAHAHHAHA
we're the elite of just alright says:
PUT THAT IN UR BLOG cause im done with mine

Holding on tight, don't give away the end.

2008-03-21T12:42:00.004+08:00

Message Sent.

OH FUCK. OH FUCK FUCK FUCK.

My hands trembled the second I realized the message was sent to the wrong person.

Your hands trembled when you received it.
My hands trembled more when I received your curt reply.

WHAT THE FUCK!?

My mind was all over the place but I knew I had to call you. Had no clue what I was going to say but I knew I just had to call. When you didn’t pick up my calls it was the most nerve-wrecking 10 mins of my life.

Phone rang; I lifted my hands from my face and scrambled to reach for it. It was you. Crying.

I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Though it wasn’t in the most pleasant fashion. I had a lot of explaining to do. Accumulated anger and resentment that I had suppressed had to be revealed to explain where I was coming from. You listened, probably appalled that I had been keeping all this feelings to myself.

I have never been the type to show my anger and talk things through. Because I’m always hoping that if I wait long enough the anger will subside and I can avoid all the mucky mess that would come after a confrontation. But like you said, it’s been so long, it hasn’t gone away and I should have told. Maybe I did want to tell. I knew I couldn’t live the rest of my life without telling you. But there was never a right time, was there? Whenever I’m with you I’m happy. I can’t ruin happy moments with troubles of my inner conflict. I guess yesterday was the perfect opening for both of us to come clean.

It made me feel better to know that you were feeling the same. That I wasn’t twisted for seeing faults in this friendship. I was disgusted at myself for being angry at you. It bothered me that I find myself wondering why hasn't there been any bumps? It seemed unnatural that we’ve been friends for so long and there hasn’t been any kinks along the way but it’s not that I would have preferred us to be at loggerheads constantly. It was almost as if, you and I, were working too hard at keeping it happy. So all the unhappiness and suspected fury that we feel, we push it away. I suppose it’s not too late to see that it was a bad move.

It was high time we came clean; open up our clenched fists to reveal the cuts and bruises. I’m glad that we took it well and were still civil to each other. I never meant to hurt you, and you likewise, never meant to make me angry.

You were concerned that my blog posts were indirect means for me to let you have a piece of my mind. But they’re not. Really. My entries all always stimulated by the need for me to rant and let go, because honestly, I don’t like troubling others with my problems and there are so little people who are actually willing to listen. So this is the first entry that I am actually writing with the intent for you to read.

I know you’re disappointed and I don’t know if you will ever fully trust me again, but just for the record, I’ve always been sincere in whatever I do for you and none of my actions have been spurred on by bad intentions or hidden motives. Even if I do confide in someone else about how I feel regarding this friendship, I’m always smothered with guilt afterwards. I do stupid things when I’m mad. My bad.

It was possibly, to quote you, “the mother of all horriblest nights” but it was also the most honest one. And I’m glad it happened. And welcome to cliché land: I know we’re going to come out stronger from all this.

She said "If we're gonna make this work,
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts.
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be"

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt.
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself.
Let's hold onto each other above everything else.
Start over, start over.

I'll do whatever it takes,
To turn this around.
I know what's at stake,
I know that I've let you down.
And if you give me a chance,
and believe that I can change,
I'll keep us together whatever it takes.

I love you.

LET ME SHOP FOREVER.

2008-03-16T00:31:00.005+08:00

JUST BOUGHT THE HOTTEST HEELS ON EARTH I AM ZEE HAPPIEST GIRL TONIGHT ALTHOUGH I KNOW MY SHOPPING SPREE AND LAZY DAYS ARE AT THE EXPENSE OF GOOD BLOCKS RESULTS SURE TO FAIL BLOCKS CONFIRM PLUS CHOP NEVERMIND WILL STUDY WHATEVER I CAN TOMORROW COULDN'T STOP MYSELF FROM BUYING ANOTHER TOP ONLINE OMG SHIT MONEY HURRY COME TO ME GOODNIGHT MUAHHH<3
HI DIRAH I WUFF YOU DOUBLE MWAH. -guess who

It's not that difficult to understand.

2008-03-14T15:21:00.018+08:00

I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.

How's that for BSB eh Huda? HAHA. And how come that dude at the back remains so unperturbed by the two clowns behind him!

I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.

HAHA I feel like killing this Dude.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.
I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES. I WANT CLOTHES.

I want a Man, not a Boy who thinks he can.

2008-03-14T13:40:00.026+08:00

18TH BIRTHDAY PART II

Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such sweet friends. J got me a box of chocolate muffins with hot pink icing with letters that form H A P P Y B D A Y ! And she also got her friend to draw a sketch of our faces! I look a little different but it’s still awesome on a whole. A T-shirt, stuff from Diva and Earphones(cus mine has gone kapoot!) packed nicely into a red box-like paper bag. And of course, we’re both loaded with new pictures now after camwhoring like nobody’s watching us(: I LOVE YOU!

"AWWW MUFFINS!"

RAWRRR I want to sink my teeth into them.

My HOT Bestfriend.

I'll blow you kisses so get a net ready to catch them!

4 FRIGGIN YEARS.

After that met Huda who made me do WORK. She got me a Prints scrapbook and printed our pictures for me to paste inside. We sat at Starbucks with hot chocolate, and wrote stuff inside the book. After we were done, I made her seal it with a kiss with her RED lipstick! ALSO! Living up to her title of Jukebox partner, she burnt me 3CDs worth of all our favourite songs! Songs that we used to sing in class when we sneakily plug in our discmans. Wow, how ancient is that. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!! So there I was at home, listening to the song and jotting down the titles onto the scrapbook when she sent me a lovely lovely prose of the titles of the songs put together!

Who Do You Think You Are in this Wild Wild World drinking Black Coffee Saying You'll Be There Time After Time, Taking Me Out? Never Give Up On The Good Times girl.

It's great that you'll Always Be My Baby. Cos I know I can never Stop Spicing Up Your Life Too Much. Do you Wannabe the Queen Of My Heart Lingering always nearby? Dancing In The Moonlight, gently Swaying.

The Trouble With Love is that in Ten Days and 25 Minutes, we realise we're too great for them. Still. I Believe It Must Have Been Love that's been Tearin Up My Heart. ):

If I Don't Have You, I wouldnt be Show Stoppin, lovin Rock And Roll as hard and Heaven sure as hell wouldnt be A Place On Earth. Bloody hell, Kiss Me, cos I am so brilliant. Say My Name loud and proud, I dont play no Foolish Games, I look Wonderful Tonight and you know my Arms are always Open for you even after you go to the Moon And Back with Drops of Jupiter in your hair.

Tugged at my heartstrings that one.

Cedar, where it all began.

Sealed with a KISS!

She listens like Spring and she talks like June.

Love this picture.

Spice Girls, BackStreet Boys, Train, Savage Garden, Roxette, Sixpence None The Richer, Toploader, Mariah Carey, The Perishers, Radio head, All Saints, Coldplay, Jewel, Bachelor Girl, N Sync, Destiny's Child, No Doubt, Sarah Mclachlan, Selena, Sum 41, Westlife, Belinda Carlisle, Missy Higgins and others.

Man, 90's music kick ass long time. Nokia didn't lie when they said music connects people.

***********************

Blocks are next week and I haven't started studying!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I'M SO SO SO DEAD. And here I am wasting my time updating my blog! What's wrong with me. And yesterday, spent the whole day You-tubing and talking rubbish to Furbs online.

She started telling me about her cravings for bananas and somehow the conversation spun around to become a Straight-out-from-the movies conversation between an insecure, unreasonable, petty girlfriend and her very patient and loving boyfriend.

,allison banana pancakes says:
i want to eat bananas
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
i want to eat you
,allison banana pancakes says:
which part of me reminds u of a chicken drumstick?
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
which part of a banana reminds you of a chicken drumstick???
,allison banana pancakes says:
which part of a chicken drumstick reminds u of a banana!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
it doesnt work that way
stop making things so complicated
see this is why we cant have a proper relationship
,allison banana pancakes says:
im not complicating things
things are actually very simple
u just dont see it do u
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
what are you trying to say? that it's my fault?
fine im wrong
im always wrong arent i
,allison banana pancakes says:
i didnt say that
it just sometimes u dont see reason
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
I don't see reason??? and what about my feelings? have you ever given a second thought about how i feel before you do things! your actions are so self centered you think the world revolves around you and you only
,allison banana pancakes says:
now ur just being unreasonable, whatever i do i did it all for u so dont use that against me and say i dont care about how u feel!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
well yeah! then what about that time you said i looked fat! that was soooo considerate.
,allison banana pancakes says:
i was just joking, wait what? now u cant even take a stupid joke can u?
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
oh please, i can tell when you're joking and when you're not. after you said that guilt was written all over your face. i could smell your anxiety from a mile away.
,allison banana pancakes says:
ur thinking the worst of me, like u always do. and even if i did meant it, im saying it for your own good
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
you know what. i'm so tired. tired of squabbling with you everyday over these trivial matters. it's amazing how you make me so happy and 5 seconds later we fight and then we make up like we always do and it never ends.
,allison banana pancakes says:
if you had been more sensible, all these arguments could have been avoided and you're not alone im tired of all this too
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
if I had been more sensible?? what about you? you're alway pinning the blame on me its unfair! you started this argument if you havent noticed! and if you're so tired then go back to Mandy. you've always loved her havent you. even when you're with me i can tell you're thinking about her constantly. i see it in your eyes and it hurts.
,allison banana pancakes says:
dont get started on that again, u keep pushing the blame to her like for goodness sake we're just good friends, good FRIENDS, u hear me. just cause me and her dated dont mean anything! so u grow up and stop harping on my past relationships
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
so do i still mean anything to you?
,allison banana pancakes says:
yes. what makes u think that u dont?
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
i dont know. i'm just so afraid that we wont work out. i dont want things to end up like how me and Blake did.
,allison banana pancakes says:
everything will be ok, i promise, i wont ever let u suffer another broken relationship again
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
double promise me!
,allison banana pancakes says:
ok promise, promise like i will still be with u when the stars grow old, or when everything else seems to fail and.. is that enough then? aha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
eh this is very fun. we make good actresses.
we're very convincing!!!
,allison banana pancakes says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHHA YA YA
we are damn good
we will get like oscars for best actresses!!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
hahaha and it all started cus you said you wanted to eat banana and i wanted to eat you.
HAHAHHAAHHAHHA
WTF MAN SERIOUSLY
,allison banana pancakes says:
HAHAAHAHAHAHA YA YA
then still got mandy and blake lol
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAAHAHAH OMG DAMN FUNNY I CANT STOP LAUGHING
,allison banana pancakes says:
HAHHAHAHHAHA YA YA I LAUGHING ALSO
THAT WAS LIKE DAMN IMPROMPTU

So if I flunk my blocks, you know why.

9th March 2008(:

2008-03-10T12:45:00.041+08:00

I was waiting for this week to be over before I make a neat compilation of all my birthday celebrations with my loved ones. But I can’t! I need need need to blog about what the Lovelies did for me yesterday! They are the LOVELIEST LOVELIES EVER(:

So before that, I was at home, thinking: Never mind la, quite cool spend my birthday with myself. After all, it is supposed to be a celebration of my existence so what better way but to spend it with MYSELF? No? Of course not!

So I was on MSN and Nicole went:

i know what you did last summer says:
hello dirah
happy birthday!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
thanks you bongs!
i know what you did last summer says:
are you going out later at night??
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
nope im not
why? you want to come surprise me at my house with a cake?
i know what you did last summer says:
ok very good you stay at home k
no no no never
never
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
hahahahaha
sure notttttttttttttttt
i know what you did last summer says:
ya sure never never
how was your day??

Like how fishy la please. Haha. I’m very smart one okay(: After that subtle unintentional hint, Noelle suddenly had to go offline for ‘Dinner’. I knew something was up! Then sure enough, I got a call after awhile from Noelle, saying that she’s here at my place. On the rooftop of a multi-storey car park and she wants me to hurry come cus she’s very sad and she came all the way to talk to me and told me to bring my camera. Kay firstly, I had no idea which car park she was talking about. I swear I didn’t know there was a multi-story car park around my house. After 10 years of living in this here, I only found out there is a multi-storey carpark yesterday when I poked my head out of the window and scanned the landscape. And secondly, I’m afraid of multi-storey car parks cus they’re always so quite and creepy. Especially at night! The thing that gave it away was the mention of the camera. Haha silly ah you Noelle. So I made my way(for the very first time) to the carpark, climbed all the way to the top and got curious stares from people at the coffeeshop beside it. I bet they were secretly wishing that I would be a victim of suicide just so they’ll have something to gossip about for the rest of the year.

So anyway! Got all the way to the top, and OH MY GOODNESS! I SAW THIS:

Cue to go ‘AWWW’ everybody! I was really truly pleasantly surprised despite knowing something was up. Aren’t they the sweetest things ever? Like I said: ‘Sweeter that candy floss, sweeter than caramel, sweeter than honey!’ On top of that, they got me sparkling juice and this yummeh yummeh Ferrero Rocher tasting cake. Went down from the carpark after a series of camwhoring and made our way to the park right opposite my house to eat the cake and gulp down sparkling juice. We sat on the rope bridge; it was a bit scary cus it was rather unstable and shaky and we're not the daintiest girls. We got so high, our laughs penetrated the silence of the night until 1030pm. Even my dad said he could hear us from my house, which is on the 12th storey. Haha.

I CAPTURED THIS PICTURE OF JAC BURPING AND NOELLE MAKING THAT CLASSIC FACE!

Lovelies, you are the AWESOMEST ever. I know I can be quite a prick at times, but I can never ever do without you, and you know I love you. Thank you for making my 18th a such special one. XOXO.

Also I need to thank those who wished me(: Each wish made me smile, so here's my thanks to you! Bestfriend, Uncle Sammie, Nicky Boy, Noelle, Jac, Jessie, Huda, Yong Wen Ginny, Shalini, Vee Nee, Furbs, Nicole, Sary, Delylah, Firdaus, Azly, Bryan, Wan Qing, Sarah, Del, Shell Chi, Afiqah, Penny and Chervonne. XOXO.

A Beautifully Different Dirah Day.

2008-03-08T23:45:00.003+08:00

A few more minutes before 9th March. Am I excited? Not really. Birthdays have somewhat lost it’s significance over the years. Yeah, I’m turning 18, but somehow it doesn’t feel like that big a deal. Eighteen. Like as if a few more minutes into 9th March would make me much older and wiser than the 17 year old I am now.

Over SMS:

Bestfriend: Someone’s turning 18 in like 2 and a half hours time eh! Whether you feel it or not, just take it that, whoa. Another year has passed, one step up!

Me: Haha. I’m trying to make myself believe that it’s special, but I can’t help but feel like it’s just a day where I get gifts and well-wishes. Haha I’m so cynical.

Bestfriend: You silly cow! IT’S SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL! Well then, you don’t get many gifts and bday wishes everyday in a year, so doesn’t that make your birthday special? (:

Me: I don’t know. A special day to me is like, my wedding. That sorta thing. It’s not like I feel particularly older on my birthday. Age takes time. You don’t take a day to become old. I don’t know if you get what I mean.

Bestfriend: TRUE TRUE. I get it. But quite deep ah, you’ve just made the degree of SPECIAL really high. Okay so let’s call your birthday a beautifully different day instead!

Me: Haha! Okay! Lets’s call it a beautifully different DIRAH day!

Got a new Guess wallet from my Mum(: High time I got a new one! My old one from last year is so dirty; it’s turned from beige to brown. Haha. Then had dinner at Al-Majlis and food was wonderful.
Celebrating with the girlfriends on Monday and Bestfriend on Tuesday. It’s so weird that I’m celebrating it on any other day than on my birthday itself.

Ahh 10 more minutes. Happy 18th Birthday Dirah.

Let Venus blow your mind.

2008-03-02T13:03:00.003+08:00

like heaven needs more to come in says:
so sunday u free to go out??
what do u wanna do!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
eyy noelle you're online!
hahaha!
hmmmm
sunday ah
famileee day
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
but we're ohana
HAHAHAHAHAS
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
but i must celebrate my birthday with my biological ohana!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
ohhh
i've always lived in the illusion tt i was your biological ohana
since yeeyew said i was malay remember?
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
okayy
mon
you're freee
its not a sqn
its a statement
you're putting our names down on your extremely busy schedule and say
tt day is blocked for them
like heaven needs more to come in says:
I GOT TRAINING
anyways dirah do u have anything in mind to do???
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
YOU HAVE TRAING ON MONDAY!
NOOOOO
dirah says you dont have training on monday
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
D;
hmmm
what time is training?
like heaven needs more to come in says:
till like 7
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
I WANT TO HAVE A PICNIC
OMG THAT WAS SO RANDOM
like heaven needs more to come in says:
ohoh!
that monday no training
okay we have pinic
GO BOTANICS
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHHA!
OKAY!!!!!!!!
YAY!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
LALALALALA

like heaven needs more to come in says:
okay set!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
YAY!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
whatchu wanna eat!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
YAY!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
we prepare for u !
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
i dont know!
hahahah!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAAS!
okayy
its a surprise
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
MUST HALAL OKAY!
HAHAHHAHA!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
YAY!
I'M SO HAPPY!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
ARH
i bring babi
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHA
YAY I LOVE BABI!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
and today did u see my eyecandy anymore anot!!!
i think he came to school for bridging classes
my friends were saying like omg noelle yong u should have flirted more on wed like i should have stuck the sticker on his shirt or something
hahaha
hes so cute right!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
haha ya he's cute leh!
haha!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
omg hes so handsome!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
need
to
get
his
attention
hahaha
cmon think of something!!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHA!
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!
OMG SO EGGCITING!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
idk!
brainstorm!!!!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
hahaha noelle you're damn gross!
hahahah!
okok lets all think !
like heaven needs more to come in says:
i dont even know his cca his name his class!
OHHH
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
aiya you will soon la!
everyone's like talking abt him
i think
haha
like heaven needs more to come in says:
he same class as MCG i think! saw them in the library together
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
SAME CLASS?!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
then MCG looked at me! please i want ur friend not u
hahaha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
OMG SWOONS!!!!!!
HAHHAHAAH!
OMG
I BET
THEY ARE SETTING UP
A HOT GUYS CLUB
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
MCG is in floorballl
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAS!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAH
WHAT!
HE BETRAYED SOCCER!
HOW DARE HE
like heaven needs more to come in says:
jac do u know if my eyecandy is in floorball!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHHA NOELLE YOU SUCK EH! KEPO #1
like heaven needs more to come in says:
i frigging dont know his name omg
such a failure this time round
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHA!
ya lor
we used to be such freakeh stalkers in pae right noelle!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
EH DIRAH WE STALKERS CLUB NEED TO WORK FASTER
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHA!
YA MANXXZXZ
like heaven needs more to come in says:
ya piang! omg i think he is so handsome wooot!!!!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAAHAHHAS!
D;
apparently i live in a world of my own
sheeesh
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
i ask nic to make friends with MCG
then i try and make friends with him
HAHAHAS!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
EH CANNOT AH!
I BE FRIENDS WITH HIM FIRST LORXZXXZZ
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
orh
okayy
then i tell him
to go make friends with dirah
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHA YES!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
then come and be friends with us
if not floorball?
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
haiya should be la!
his dearest gf in floorball also
like heaven needs more to come in says:
he is not with that girl la! dirah think positive!
like me!
cmon lets go!!!
hahaha
we're young and hot and wild!
they belong to US!
say it with me cmon!!!!!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHA OMG ARE WE LIKE THE MOST HYSTERICAL AND DELUDED BUNCH OF GIRLS OR WHAT!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
haha cmon he is so cute!
if that girl ever digs her claws into him!
her skinny bones are so dead
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
YAH
CUS I WILL DIG MY CLAWS INTO HER EVEN HARDER
like heaven needs more to come in says:
HAHAHA
yessssss she looks so annoying
okay she doesnt
but whatever
haha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
She's quite pleasant looking actually.
hurr hurr
annoying much?!!?
like heaven needs more to come in says:
hahaha
ok cmon brainstorm!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
okokok!!!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
okay so no.1 is to get their attention
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
which i have already done!
YOU need to get his attention
like heaven needs more to come in says:
ya! i bet he forgot me from that day
like heaven needs more to come in says:
okay anyway!
no.1.1 HOW to get his attention!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
EYE CONTACTS!
SEXY SEXY MYSTERIOUS EYECONTACTS!
MUST MAKE SURE GOT ELECTRICITY ONE!
TO ZAP THEM! THEN THEY SURE NOTICE ONE
like heaven needs more to come in says:
!!!
okay ill go wear red contacts hahaha sure electrocute him
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAH! YA!
BEST AH
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
I CAN'T WAIT FOR PEEKNEEK!
WHERE WE WILL TAKE LOADS OF PEEKTURES!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAHAHAHAHAS! (;
pppeeeeky sneaky peektures?
like heaven needs more to come in says:
ask handsome to come
kay his code name is handsomeee
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHA!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
sounds like a dog
hahaha
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAS
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
ASK THE HANDSOME(s) TO COME!
HAHA
WAH THATS REALLY HAPPY 18TH MAN
WOOHOO
like heaven needs more to come in says:
ya happy 18th man!!!
hahah no! MCG can be code named like short handsome
hahahah
mines tall handsome!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHHAHAHA
OMG YOU'RE SO LAME !
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAPPY HANDSOME 18TH!
HAHAHAHAHA!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAS!
ommgggggggggg
dirah you need to start making friends on mon
i suggest you join them for floorball?
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
NO!
CANNOT!
I WILL FALL DOWN ON THE FLOOR IN EXHAUSTION!
THEN I'LL BE THE FREAKIN FLOOR BALL
like heaven needs more to come in says:
AHAHAHAHAHA
no la the game not very hard
i saw them play
ahahaha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
YA LA WHEN YOU SEE CUTE GUYS PLAY NOT HARD LA! HAHAHAHAHA
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS!
yuh yuh
noelle got it right
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAS!
HAHAS!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
HAHAHA HES SO HANDSOMEEEEEE
omg major infactuation
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
CALM DOWN!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
i think she's so infatuated
what are you doing on sat?
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
saturday??
hmmm counting down to sunday??
HAHAHAHAH
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
MAYBE YOU SHLD
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
oooh okay great! wait for our call at 12 then
ahha
teleport u our love
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
hahaha yay!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS
tts the way
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
eh noelle ah
dont be a gopal can or not
like heaven needs more to come in says:
why!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
your blog!
why the one liners!
want to act mysterious one ah!
HAHAHAHAHA
like heaven needs more to come in says:
eh please like u dont know who i talking about
hahaha
okay later i put big big HANDSOME
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!
PUT!
I DARE YOU!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
WHY NOT! I DARE!
its just a word
haha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAH!
YAY!
YOU MUST PUT:
I LURBXZX CHEW HANDSOME! WOOOOTS!
HAHAHHAHA OKOK!????!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
!!!!!!
im gonna quote then
ahhaha
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
WHAT! thats not original!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
because people need to know what i dont come up with such i lurbszx chewx stuff but u do!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHAHAHHA HEYYYYYY
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
okayy
then you write
HANDSOME COME TO ME BABY
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAS!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!
OMGGGGGGGGG
HAHAHA!
YOU MUST WRITE:
WO AI NI HANDSOMEXZXZX! MUACKS MUACKS!
like heaven needs more to come in says:
!!!!!
can uget a hold of urself pelase!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
now we know what dirah learns cheena for
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
omggg
my earphones have coiled in such a unbelievable manner
it looks like twister fries
like heaven needs more to come in says:
oooo yummeh
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
ooooh hot pink twister fries
like heaven needs more to come in says:
oh ew
hahaha
shit dirah u runined it
yuck!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
WHAT! WHY!
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
special order
like heaven needs more to come in says:
like mutated fries
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAS!
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!
OMGGGGGG
like heaven needs more to come in says:
eh im quite funny ah
HAHAHA
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
ermmm ok.
in the winter far beneath the bitter snow says:
HAHAHAS!
yuh noelle just rendered us speechless

Honestly Now.

2008-03-02T00:10:00.009+08:00

sunshine says:
u left this whole important thg out
haha
u didnt tell me he said that.
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
no he didnt say it
i just concluded
after much much thought
after a billion months
i figured it out for myself
like thinking about it
i finally know where he came from
like the reason for him doing what he did
and i dont blame him
not really.
dirahlovesdirah.blogspot says:
and all this while i was wondering how someone could be so heartless
and now i find myself doing the same thing. how?
sunshine says:
yeah
its really good yknw
YOU HAVE A HEART
sunshine says:
knowing you, although you're quite bitchy half the time (ok lah not HALF the time la, sometimes), i know deep deep inside u're really sensitive towards others feelings and you're not the kind who only thinks abt yourself.

***********

If I said that I don’t think about you anymore, I’d be lying through my teeth. I think about you more often than I should be, maybe not with the same intensity, nor the same emotional attachment, but you’re always there at the back of my mind. Remember the resentment I held towards you for the way you left things? For the way you made me the most miserable person I had ever been? For making me wonder every minute, 'Why?'.

Well, I can safely say, I’m no longer that emotional wreck anymore. In fact, I’ve learnt so much from it. I’ve grown in more ways than I could possibly imagine. It changed my perspective about many things. It made me evolve into the person that I am now. And I know you never intended to do any of that so that I could grow and learn, but I somehow feel that I owe you my thanks.

But that’s not what I’m trying to tell you. What I mean to say, is that I don’t blame you anymore. I don’t blame you for doing what you did. Because I finally understand your reasons. No, you never did the courtesy of explaining to me why. But now I know that it’s because you couldn’t bear to explain. You couldn’t bear to point out the flaws because you didn’t know how to do it without meaning any offence. I understand now because now I find myself in your shoes. But that doesn’t mean that you’re completely innocent. All that hurt inflicted was unjustifiable and still ruthless on your part. And I guess I have to apologize for my mistake too.

I’m sorry I was young.

This would have been better said in person, but it’s a bit difficult to demand for that, seeing how things have been for a while now. I’m not hoping for things to go back to how it was, I’m not that deluded anymore. I just feel that you ought to know that I understand now and I’m not angry.

I’m a chicken shit for typing this out here instead of telling you through other means. Of course that’s provided you even read this blog anymore. But things are just so different now and I can’t talk to you the way we used to. So yeah.

Friday, I'm in love(:

2008-02-29T17:51:00.001+08:00

Guess what guess what guess what! The sound on my computer is FIXED! I am like sooo over the moon right now! And it’s all thanks to Bill! You are like zee best I swear! You make a computer noob like myself drop my jaw in awe when I heard sound coming from my laptop! And thanks to Meng Hang too for trying to fix it! After a horrible 2 months of living with a laptop without sound, I can finally play my itunes that’s 1639 worth of songs! And You tube! Oooh now I can properly enjoy watching You tube! Haha! I’m so excited now, can you tell?!

(Jeremy wants the world to know that he helped too. Not in fixing the computer but in sharing my joy! Haha! He danced and twirled around the class with me after my dear computer got fixed! =D Hahaha! You're such retard, Silly!)

That aside, I’m really glad it’s the weekends! School’s been so tiring and I always seem to be preoccupied with so much work that weeks seem to pass by real quickly. Just this Monday, Jessie was telling me about how fast the days are passing and voila! It’s Friday already! Before you know it, A’s will be knocking at our doorsteps. I’m really looking forward to after A’s. I’m going to be free! Free from school! Wheee! I’m going to get a job, then I’ll get MOOONEYYYYYYYY FOR SHOPPINGGGGGGGGGGG OOOOOOMG CAN’T WAIT. I’m going to make a lot of shop owners in town very happy. Eh, what am I saying. I am going to make MYSELF very happy! Ahh it’s a win-win situation. Fabulous.

Anyway, Noobster’s been chucked aside, just like all the others. But I can’t find it in me to do to someone what someone did to me, cus I know how awful it feels like. I’ll think of something quick. Formulate a plan and a nice speech for damage control. And I hate it how times like these make you compare the trash to that diamond ring that you’ve got your eye on for so long but just can’t seem to claim it for yourself. It makes you yearn even harder for it. And its sad when the diamond ring has the perfect cut, the perfect shine and most importantly, fits your finger perfectly, but you just can’t seem to afford it. No, more like you can afford it, just that the diamond ring doesn’t want to be bought.

And for God’s sake, get a grip of yourself please. I see the way you’re acting and it just makes me cringe inside at how weak and pathetic you are. He’s not your lifeline you know. You pull him out, you’ll see that you’re still alive. I cannot stress enough how important it is for us girls to be independent. It’s tough, but as far as possible, never let a man consume you wholly. You can love, yes, by all means open your heart and share it with the ones who deserve your love, because love is a beautiful, beautiful thing. But never forget that you are your own property, no matter how much he loves you, or how much you THINK he loves you. You’ve got to love yourself even more, girl. And by that, I mean, have some dignity.

I’m going to nap now. Toodlelooo!

I'm dreaming outloud.

2008-02-24T10:25:00.004+08:00

A few days back, I had a dream I was flying. It was the most amazing sensation ever, it felt so real. I felt so free.

In the dream, I was running away from a huge, one-eyed giant. My huge strides were equivalent to one slow, effortless giant step. The ironic thing was, I was being chased by a monstrous giant in the most beautiful setting you could ever imagine. I was running up a green hill, and from the top of the hill, you could see meadows dotted with pretty flowers of different colours. There was smoke coming out from a chimney of a small cozy looking cottage, somewhere in the middle of the meadows. The golden sunset illuminated the whole place, making the whole view even more captivating. Now that I think about it, the giant was really out of place.

So anyway, I kept on running and running and suddenly, I found my feet being lifted off the ground. I was flying! My legs had to move in a synchronized motion to propel me higher. It was pretty much like swimming actually. I remember laughing in glee when I saw the giant trying to fly like I did. It was jumping and flapping its chunky arms wildly but it still couldn't fly. The giant then fell to his knees and plopped his heavy bum on the green grass, looking defeated. It was such a comical, sight it still tickles me.

I want to bottle up that dream and keep it with me forever. Because in that dream, I felt so liberated and carefree. I felt like a child again. It felt good to know that even monsters and giants of any sort couldn’t reach me. It was a good escape from the real world, for sure.

And last night. I dreamt of shooting stars. Hmm.

Now Chris Brown is a real life walking dream. I can just stare at him the whole day. And I'll never get sick of his smooth caramel-like voice. That lucky bitch, Jordin Sparks.

):

2008-02-22T21:47:00.001+08:00

I took an early leave from school today cus I was still feeling quite horrible. In fact, I was feeling very horrible. Not long after I reached home I puked out whatever I ate in the morning which wasn’t a lot. My breakfast today consisted of 3 nuggets and a cup of hot milo. I felt so nauseous and faint so I thought home was the best place for me to be. So from 1pm all I did was slept, puked, slept and puked some more. And it wasn’t like as if I had much to throw up considering I ate very little. I forced myself to drink some soup but my body rejected that too. My stomach was empty and I couldn’t eat so in the end I ended up throwing up the vile tasting yellow colour acid from my stomach. It’s damn gross I know. I haven’t had anything to eat until now. I hope the mashed potato I’m eating now doesn’t end up in the kitchen sink as well.

Such a beautiful mess, that's breaking my skin.

2008-02-20T20:32:00.002+08:00

The weather’s been awfully hot and I’m down with fever/flu I can’t be sure yet. School’s been dreadful. It’s the same routine everyday. My alarm goes off at 6, I sit up in bed for a few seconds then collapse on my pillow again, hoping that the day would go away. I’m talking 8-9 hours of school with at most an hour break sandwiched in between never ending lessons. Teachers are really pushing us extra hard this year. The amount of work that they set us is enough to build a mountain. I know I really shouldn’t be complaining because taking the A levels this year isn’t a joke. 10 years of education all comes down to this. It’s make it or break it. I’ve just got to grit my teeth and make it to the end of this year. But it’s easier said than done. Much, much easier.

A few days back, I was attacked. Out of nowhere, all my problems from the past that I thought I had managed to conquer and suppress, came haunting me again. It was a double/triple/quadruple whammy. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling particularly reflective that day. It felt like I was forced to conjure up all those thoughts and memories, I couldn’t push them away. And the fact that I couldn't, or rather, didn't want to tell anyone about them made it worse. It made my head throb pretty badly. Thinking back about it, I realized that all those thoughts from long ago incidents that haunted me that day never had a proper closure. Problems were never resolved and loose ends remained frayed. All those times I thought I could run away by just pushing the problems to the back of my mind. But they will never really leave me alone. Not until I fill up the blank spaces. At this point, I’m not sure how that’s possible.

Under the Tuscan Sun is a wonderful movie. It made me stop and ponder about a lot of things. Like “What is it about love that makes us so stupid?” and “Never lose your childlike innocence”. I can’t remember the other thought provoking quotes from the movie which is why I’m going to make a point to watch it again someday, when I’ve got the time away from school and work that is.

Chocolates and Coffee Beans.

2008-02-16T16:00:00.001+08:00

CLICK HERE: Dirah Adam at Cherry Magazine

Change of plans today. I should be out, not at home blogging. Thoroughly annoying. Urgh.

Vday in school was rather bland. I miss celebrating Vday in Cedar. Everyone exchanges gifts with everyone else, irregardless of whether you're close to that person or not. In YJ it seems like sharing the love is only confined to you and the people you are close to.

Silly but I like(: Samuel wore the mask only after much persuasion. Can you see that reluctant expression on his face?? Haha.

HAHA we wore the hats in math class and our teacher didn't mind one bit! I didn't get a chance to take a picture of everyone whom I gave a mask or a hat to):

I don’t know what to feel about it all. It’s just…I don’t know. Weird. The whole upside-down role. I should be the one learning and being led, not the other way around. It’s just a really odd situation. I’ll give it time though.

Polka Dot, Polka Dot, POLKA DOT SHORTS! =D

2008-02-12T21:05:00.001+08:00

School was horrible. I went for PE for the very first time this year and it was a terrible experience. Class girls got it bad from the PE department because of our dwindling attendance. They were really picking on us and I even cried cus I was so pissed off. They were being so unreasonable and they kept shouting at us! And they told us that as a punishment, we had to report to school early for morning PE on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday for TWO WHOLE MONTHS. I was like WTFFFF. So after the whole fiasco, I went into LT4 for Chem lecture and I heard that the PE teacher wanted to see me. Next thing I knew, she was in the LT pointing me out, and Ms Chua even called my name out on the mic! It was so embarrassing I swear.

I was really dreading to hear what she had to say to me, but surprisingly, she wasn’t there to reprimand me at all! In fact, she was telling me that I don’t have to come for morning PE with the rest and she even APOLOGIZED to me on behalf of the PE department because they overlooked the fact that the times I was absent from PE, I had MC to cover me. I was rather stumped; one moment they were screaming at me and the next she was being so apologetic, getting me to understand that she was generally angry at the girls for not attending PE and it wasn’t directed at me. I went back to my seat after that and told Samuel who said that they were probably afraid I would sue them. HAHA HOW FUNNY. Probably cus I may come across as a spoilt brat who always gets her way.

I gave myself a scare again today when I lost my wallet. Spent the most part of my measly ½ hour break trying to find it and I got it back! PHEW! I was starving cus I didn’t eat anything since the 6pm the previous day. And the only time I got some food to eat was like at 12. So you can imagine what PE was like for me, considering I didn’t have anything to eat since the day before.

So for CT today my class along with some other classes went to the National Museum of Singapore to see Greek sculptures that came all the way from the Lourve in Paris.

My class! Looks a lot larger than 128 doesn't it! Can you spot meeee?

I shall be evil and post this up so I can blind you people with this horrific sight.

I look like a bulldog here. Haha.

It’s some sort of big deal I suppose. It was pretty enlightening. For the first 15 minutes at least. I was really truly intrigued by the cool sculptures and the stories behind them. But the stories and exhibits got old after a while(haha pun!) and I started yawning and I stopped snapping pictures and I got annoyed at bad English and my legs were getting tired and my bag was starting to kill my shoulder and I was starting to get hungry again and I just badly wanted the tour to end.

These are my two favourite scultures. This one below is Cupid. And the next one down there is Nike. The goddess of... something. She's the prettiest of all the goddesses to me. The rest are all too naked and fat.

Dinner at PS with the guys and furbs. Was so tempted to drop by Wisma to do some shopping but I was so tired I decided against it. (Gasps!) I’m yawning as I’m typing this and I haven’t even started on my homework and the thought of school tomorrow simply irks me.

THIS WEEK :

2008-02-09T13:08:00.001+08:00

Just cus I'm too lazy to type. Here are pictures!

The Gossip Queens.MY ADORABLE-EST CUPPY-CAKE! <3

MY PAPARAZZI BIATCH (:

Runaway Love.

2008-02-08T22:54:00.000+08:00

Things between me and my parents aren’t looking too peachy. We keep on rubbing each other the wrong way, without even realizing it. Had a little row with mum just now. Something about me keeping things to myself and her being a sneak. Stupid cause and effect/ chicken and egg theory.

It’s a fucking stupid phase. A phase that my parents are experiencing, not me. It’s called the: “As a parent, it is my duty to pry and poke into my teenage daughter’s life so that I will know things that she doesn’t want me to know about, and EUREKA! I will be able to understand her better and we can have a healthy parent-child relationship and everything will be fine and dandy” phase.

Like hello? Personal space anyone? You’re asking me why I’ve been so uptight and why am I behaving like this. And I really don’t know what to say, simply cus I don’t know where to start and I can‘t find enough energy to argue and give my piece because whatever I say, you justify your point with “I’m the Parent, with a fucking capital P. I’m always fucking right.” And nothing ever changes.

Independence/Self-sufficient Versus Over-protectiveness.
The two just don’t complement each other. I feel so constricted, you have absolutely no idea. Nothing’s ever going to change the fact that I can take care of myself fairly well. I mean, you raised me to be this way. You can’t undo it. You want things to get better? I say you move aside and let me breathe. The more you try, the more I back away. That’s just the way it is.

Gee, I should consider writing a book on parenting tips.

This could be something good(:

2008-02-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

I’ve been so happy these few days, no words could suffice in describing my elation. It’s just that silly-giggly-floaty feeling you know? Those who know me well enough will know what’s that ONE thing that can take me on this high.

And finally CNY break is here! OMG like high time it came already! School’s been such a drag. Classes have been such a chore, I’m so relieved I can finally live a little. Happy Chinese New Year everyone(:

And ooooh! I found my heart! My pink animated smiley face heart emoticon! I’m like over-the-moon happy to get it back! My msn conversations haven’t been the same ever since my computer got reformatted. It’s so silly how I’ve grown so attached to an msn emoticon.

I’ve been wearing a perpetual smile lately; I’m smiling even as I’m typing this! Haha oh gosh, someone come slap me hard and bring my feet back to the ground.

You pull me close, we start to spin with the stars above.

2008-02-03T13:43:00.000+08:00

OOH baby do you know what that's worth?
OOH heaven is a place on earth.
They say in heaven, love comes first.
We'll make heaven a place on earth.

The whole of Friday was pretty insane. Everything from school to Renny’s 18th Birthday party. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!) I was rushing to finish up homework in between breaks because we have the strictest teachers on earth this year, and that means homework must be done! I have applied the art of synthesizing, something I acquired in Cedar where we skipped recess just to copy work. We became so good at it that we were even able to copy lit without making it seem like we copied! (Right Huda??) So I managed to get all that work done, which was super amazing.

After school, went to meet Huda at Bugis where we were suppose to bus to CHANGI, where the party was held. I have a knack of scaring myself by misplacing my essential belongings like my wallet or my phone. This time, it was my ez-link card. So at Bugis MRT, I was standing at the platform area, and I couldn’t go out from the ticket counter because I couldn’t find my ez-link card. I was cursing myself at how stupid I was to be able to lose it in the train ride to Bugis. So I decided to approach the MRT dude. I summoned my most pitiful face and told him I lost my ez-link card and he let me off without a moment’s consideration. No checking of bags to see if you’re lying just to get a free ride or what so ever. He’s probably encountered thousands of scatterbrains like me each day. My mood dampened by 100 points, knowing that I have to spend more buckaroos on a new ez-link card and a passport size photograph. 5mins after I met Huda, it suddenly struck me! I suddenly remembered that I placed my card in this particular compartment of my rather new handbag (which explains why I’m not familiar with the compartments!) so that I could easily tap my card without taking it out from the bag! HAH! WHAT. A. GENIUS.

So we took 2 to Changi. Me and Huda looked and felt really out of place because as the bus passed through Geylang and Tampines, people wearing shabby t-shirts and shorts started to board and all the town-looking people alighted. So yes, we were relatively overdressed, and we got annoyed at the stares we were getting. The bus ride to Changi was taking too fucking long(close to 2 hours i think!) despite being accompanied by good music. We were getting tired, and our butts were getting hot(!).

So I suggested to Huda that we alight and cab the rest of the way. The good thing about the hike in cab fare is that you don’t have to wait long before you spot a vacant cab. By the time the taxi driver drove us to Changi, the dim-wit told us that he could only stop us in front of the interchange cus he’s not allowed to go to Carpark 1 as we instructed him to. Which is a total LIE. And because of that ass, Huda and I found ourselves walking in the rain in the back alley of a row of shops in our dress and heels, trying in vain to find a jetty with a blue bridge. Huda gave up and walked barefooted because her heels were murdering her feet.

But you know what. I loved it. Although we were shit unglam, our hair were messed up thanks to the rain, and we were getting stares from people who don’t know what discreet means, it was fun. Walking with you in the cold, cold rain, laughing at ourselves for looking so out of place, and getting lost in Changi, was damn fun. The most fun you and me have had since Cedar. Hearts yewwwwwwwwwwwwww<3

Unfamiliar faces at Renny’s party. Only knew like 3 or 4 people? And to be honest, I’ve never been very good with big groups. Found out Cedar peeps weren’t coming): Parents were being such ____ so I had to leave early. I should have just thrown my phone into the water at Changi Beach. Meeting Huda and Renny was good nonetheless(: Thanks for the invite!

Whispers, "Hello, I miss you quite terribly."

2008-01-30T21:15:00.000+08:00

UPDATES UPDATES! Before I forget what's been going on and decide to completely forget blogging about it.

CVD was better than last year. Highlight was the Haunted House with Jac and Furbs which was madness. We entered the room and it was pitch black, we couldn’t see anything and we refused to move any further because we saw there was a ‘ghost’ with a red torch waiting for us somewhere in front. So we stood 5 inches from the entrance for a good 10 mins just scaring ourselves, screaming at the slightest movement each of us made, fearing that it was the ghost creeping up on us. We weren’t making any progress cus we were all chicken shits and the ghost got rather impatient so he umm.. encouraged us to move by going all screamo and saying “Mooooove!” Jac lost her slipper in the middle of the room and it got pretty chaotic cus we were just sitting on the floor, feeling for her slipper laughing hysterically as the ghosts loomed towards us. Furbs went like: “Please la.. Don’t come near me already la! I give you more peace offerings!” We were in the room for pretty long so when we finally made our way out, the queue was quite a stretch and we got angry stares from those waiting outside. Sat on the steps for a while trying to regain our sanity when one of the ‘ghosts’ came out of the room, took off his mask, took one good look at us and went back in with a quizzical/amused look on his face. OOOMG. Saw MCG a lot. It’s so fucking obvious that it’s getting quite fun. Haha. Josh and gang and P** **i came! 3 Strands was being so childish I want to pee on her ugly face. Hammie was lingering around with you know who and Twinky was being such an attention seeker and ahh gosh the high school drama never dies!

Furbs and I cut on Monday. Took 3 hours before it was our turn. We were so bored, we resorted to Bluetooth-ing a picture of a green potted plant to random people. Yes that’s just the type of no-lifer people we are so shut up because you’d do the same too if you’ve been sitting in the same room with genuinely sick people for 3 hours.

School work’s been piling up so fast, I can hardly catch a breather. It’s so much more intense than last year, that is, if last year was intense at all. Breakfast at Macs before reaching school at 10 hardly qualifies as intense does it? I haven’t attended PE once cus I’ve miraculously managed to produce an MC each time. I don’t even have YJ shorts and the PE department is eyeing my class because they’re all trying to escape PE too. The thought of 2.4 makes me nauseous.

Lit tutorial just now was such a laugh. I came to class unprepared cus I didn’t read Gatsby. Well actually, almost everyone didn’t. I was unfortunate enough to be called by Spencer to answer questions about the text. So he asked me, what is the name of the narrator? And I looked around in desperation, hoping to see the answer scrawled upon someone’s face in black ink. Azwan mouthed ‘NICK’to me. But my lip reading skills failed me and I blurted out ‘Lee’ instead. That got Spencer deranged and he started screaming and doing all the weird things he does when he’s agitated. I think it was so damn funny how I nonchalantly gave Spencer the most random Chinese name, considering that the text was based on an American setting. That was a good example of me and my brain-not-engaged moments.

I had to part with my dearest laptop for 3 days because some asshole sent a virus. My files are all safe thank God. BUT! For some reason, my laptop has no sound. It’s like, the sound got deactivated when it was reformatted or something. It’s so annoying because I need my dose of music when I do my work and I’ve been relying only on my Mp3 for that, so I’ve been using up my batteries like they’re free. Can some kind soul help me figure out what’s wrong with my poor laptop???

I haven’t shopped in a million mad monkey years. And it feels horrible! I’m going to break out in rashes if I don’t shop soon. D;

Jac and I were bobbing to Here in Your Arms-Hello Goodbye in the canteen. It's makes me so high and happy whenever I listen to it! And man, do I miss those times we sat in class doing that):

When you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
That there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.

OBSESSION.

2008-01-22T15:54:00.000+08:00

I’ve found it. I found a coat similar to the one above! I spent almost close to half an hour in the Forever 21 fitting room just staring at myself in the coat. I was just too fixated by it, I didn’t want to take it off. For that moment, I was no longer an average girl studying in a college. I was the stylish JLo, Christina Aguilera, Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton, all rolled into one. Though I felt the price tag was a tad jarring, the indescribable feeling that I felt nullified how expensive it was. There were only 4 pieces on the rails and I’m so afraid that by the time more cash rolls in for me, they’ll be gone! I sound so ridiculous, lusting over an over priced coat that I know I won’t be using very often. In fact, I think its insane how I can’t let it go. Just like how I keep thinking about Jac’s new HOT PINK earpiece. And sequined tops and dresses. And new Guess wallets. I think I may have some sort of disorder or something.

THE coat.

THE coat again.

OMG I WANT THAT COAT SO BADLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

This is totally anti-climax isn't it. But when I saw this elderly couple walking hand-in-hand in front of me, my heart just melted! Doesn't the sight of it make you want to go, "AWW!"? To have gone through almost your whole life with someone, and still be able to fall in love with them each day like it was the first time, now that's special. It was the most beautiful-est thing I've seen in a long time.

Well, okay SECOND beautiful.
THE COAT IS FIRST.

Bored Musings.

2008-01-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

Today was an unfruitful attempt at trying to get some work done. I ended up napping, talking on the phone with Huda, and then reading fashion blogs, online fashion magazines and checking out clothes online. Congratulations to me.

So anyway, I saw a lot of gorgeous gorgeous clothes and bags and shoes etc. and my appetite for shopping has just ballooned by ten times. My shopping list that previously consists of 4 items now looks like this:

-Shades
-(COMFY)Pointed Black Heels
-(COMFY)Pointed Red Heels
-White dress
-Sheer Tights/Stockings
-More Headbands
-New wallet Guess/River Island/that nice wallet that I saw but can't recall where it's from.
-Nailpolish
-White dress
-Ipod
-More dresses
-Shimmery/Sequined tops
-Necklaces
-Attention seeking earrings :P
-Red tote
-White tote
-Mascara
-More shoes
-Bags and more bags
-Coat like the one in the picture above
-Bangles
-Shorts

OOOMG.
Can money just miraculously drop onto my lap now??? I am craving for new clothes so badly! Not that I haven't shopped for ages, but it's not like my craving for new stuff ever dies for long after a shopping spree.

And I just learnt in GP that the president of Singapore earns $3.6 million a year while Bush only earns $100 000 a year. I exclaimed that I wanted to make him my sugar daddy and Mr David started laughing.

Sometimes, I really do wonder, why am I studying so hard when all I have to do is let someone else do all the studying, then let him be rich and maybe even famous and then I can be his tai-tai. Then all I have to worry in life is whether I can get that exclusive Prada Boots imported from Paris in time for that big party. And maybe I'll possibly have to worry about whether there is another tai-tai in the picture. And all that worry is going to give me a wrinkle on my forehead and I'll easily even out the crease with the help of...

Okay I'm kidding. That's of course, impractical and there is no way am I ever going to entirely depend on a man for my living.

Still.

I want loads of money.

Quick.

Sigh.

On a side note:

Some people can be so pretentious at times. Well, actually, we all are. There are always those occasions where you find yourself in a situation where you have to be someone that you’re not, just to fit into the crowd. Just to make a lasting impression. But often, when you try too hard to waffle your way through, it backfires, making you look like an amateur. Usually I try to avoid being caught in situations like that because I like the feel of being in my own skin. I like to be given space and time to grow, make mistakes and learn on my own. I’m not eager to force myself into a scene I’m not used to even if I’m welcomed to it. Just because I can, doesn’t necessarily mean I have to.

My tummy is like a washing machine OMG.

2008-01-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

MY BESTFRIEND IS EIGHTEEN!
ILU!
I didn't have school on the 15th, which was fortunate, cus I got to spend more time with her. I picked her up from school, because I am such a sweet bestfriend.

Her presents! I got her A TOTALLY HOT GORGEOUS TOP CUM DRESS. And I got her a notebook that she wanted from Paper People and some sweet treats. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want the dress for myself! But good friends must always make sacrifices.
*Plays melancholic violin music*

Circle Circle Dot Dot.

Dinner at tcc. The staff there were like soooo bitching about me and J. Man, they couldn't have made it any more obvious. But like, whatever. If you're talking about us, it must mean we're worth talking about right.

THEN...
Wednesday was Cafe Del Mar with Jessie and Jac! Silly Noelle Yong couldn't join us! ROAR.

Jac the sicko pervert molesting Jessie's back.
Hmm, Jessie looks like she likes being molested.

The pool was OMG orgasmic on a hot day.

GIRL TALK!

Jessie's such a lucky girl :D

The customary toilet cam-whoring.

And the customary Forever 21 fitting room cam-whoring!

They were both not ready for this shot, but I look nice so, HAHA.

I LOVE MY GIRLS!

I tried to paint you, but the colours weren't beautiful enough.

2008-01-11T19:47:00.000+08:00

All my H2 papers are done! Whee! I’m left with math, which shouldn’t really be a problem, except for the teensy weensy fact that I have forgotten almost everything that I’ve learnt last year! Chemistry paper just now was just utter rubbish. It was the most torturous two and a half hours of my life. I didn’t know how to do a single question. Okay maybe I did, the few no-brainer questions, like “what is the purpose of heating the solution?”.

A few days back, I was in chemistry lecture, and I drifted off, as usual. But I wasn’t dreaming of my clothes, shoes, bags, or when my next shopping spree will be.

I was thinking about my future. There I was sitting among about a hundred chemistry students in the same lecture hall and I kept asking myself, What am I doing here? What am I doing among these high-waisted-pants-wearing boys with absolutely no hint of wax in their hair, and girls with skirts that look like sarongs that sweep the floor as they walk.

I felt like such a fraud. I mean, these people actually care how many moles there are in 12grams of Carbon. They actually care about the functions and structure of Saccharin. They are going to be the future scientists, not me. They are the people who will don the white lab coats and be future researchers, finding vaccines for illnesses and such. I have no affinity for chemistry at all, yet there I am, competing with these people, who mug day and night for chemistry, out of passion I reckon. The only chemistry I indulge in is the chemistry between me and my friends and people around me. But what choice do I have? I need to ace Chemistry for my ticket to a university. That’s usually the unfair situation you’ll find yourself in being a student in Singapore.

That naturally led me to think of what I’m going to do when I grow up. I weighed my strengths and at this point, it seems like I’m doing well in GP, Literature and Math. I got home, grabbed a piece of paper and made a list of all the things I like to do. Kind of like a modified version of an aptitude test they made us take in Cedar.

At the top of the list, I wrote Shopping/Fashion. What can I do with that? Be a fashion designer? That would be cool. I can think of a billion gorgeous designs. But I watched Project Runway, and you actually had to be able to put your visuals down on paper and draw them out. Have measurements and stuff like that. They actually had to make art from a piece of cloth with the help of scissors, pins and a sewing machine. That’s almost as good as being a carpenter, crafting furniture from planks of wood. Not exactly my forte. I think I’d stick to being the consumer who wears clothes, not the one who makes them. And I doubt anyone makes a living out of shopping.

Next I put Read/Write. Which I know sounds totally hypocritical considering I chucked my literature texts aside cus they bore me to sleep. Don’t talk about writing essays about them.

Third on my list is Music/Dancing/Singing. I can’t play an instrument, so I’m not going to get very far in the music scene. I abandoned my piano at grade 4. And face it, Singapore musicians are starving artists.

Number four, I put, Hanging out with friends/Chilling. But the only people who make a living out of that are the Hilton sisters. And I don’t think I need to explain at this point how I’m not exactly related.

Number five was blank.

Oh well, it’s not like it’s a real aptitude test.

Greatest Girlfriend ♥

2008-01-08T20:12:00.000+08:00

Miss Huda Rasid, what in the world would I do without you?

Our 2am phone conversation was ultimate therapy. Verbal diarrhoea with you was exactly what I’ve been needing all these while! I got a lot of things off my chest and it feels so darn good just being completely honest with you.

I love it how you read my mind and know the exact words that are going to come out of my mouth.
I love it how we laughed so hard, try to stifle our laughter, and then burst out laughing even harder.
I love it how we are completely clean with each other, no matter how private the matter is, and still don’t judge.
I love it how we get along so fantastically well despite not having been in each other’s company for quite a while.
I love it how you still bother to keep me updated about your life and then patiently listen to me rant about mine.

You are truly appreciated babe. It’s comforting to know that I have your shoulder to lean on when things are rough. Be assured, you have mine too(:

♥

This ain't the way to go.

2008-01-07T09:53:00.000+08:00

I was walking to the clinic to get medication and MC for today cus I've been down with the flu since yesterday. But before I got to the row of shops, this man approached me and asked "Are you interested in doing some modelling?" He talked in that hush-hush-I'm a pervert kind of tone. So I said no and I kept walking. But he started to walk along-side me! And he persisted, he said " Could you just follow me for a while?" Like, hello? Maybe if I was six and you had candy in your hands I would have fallen for that. Even then I wouldn't be so gullible. So I looked him straight in the eye and said firmly NO. As I looked at him, I saw he was eying my boobs! Of all the nerve! And I was in the least flattering outfit ever -a hooded jacket(cus I was feeling shivery) and shorts. I didn't want to create a scene in public so I just kept walking, hoping that he would just give up when we got nearer to the crowd. But he didn't! And like as if what he did wasn't offensive enough, he took out a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded pictures of nude women and said, "Model for me like this." I was taken aback and out of rage I glared at him and said in my fiercest tone, "I SAID NO! WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF? GO AWAY YOU FREAK!" And he coyly retreated to his hide out. Probably, waiting for his next prey. Horny son of a bitch. I was contemplating on whether calling the police to report him would be too dramatic, but my phone's battery was dying on me so I couldn't anyway. I'm just praying hard that no one after me will get hurt.

All that madness aside...

I spent hours awake in bed last night, tossing and turning. Was so tired but I just couldn't block out the thoughts in my head and go to sleep. Maybe I don't want/need it as much as I think I do. I've been doing it all this while, why not do it longer? Don't just settle for second best because the best deserves the best and nothing less. Come on Dirah, pull yourself together.

I've got me, myself and I
I know that I will never disappoint myself.
My eyes have cried a thousand times
If you've cried a thousand times, Ladies you will survive.
I can't regret times spent with you
Yeah you hurt me but I learnt a lot along the way
It's how I learnt to make it through.
I can see the sun shine,
I've got me myself and I.

Café Del Mar.

2008-01-06T13:50:00.000+08:00

Café Del Mar yesterday with Delylah was great. The sun was so scorching hot that I had a tan line after only about half an hour of soaking under the sun. We couldn’t take the immense heat so we decided to lounge in the pool instead. Ordered drinks and planned to dip in the pool for a bit longer but then it started pouring! ): So we just sat talking and cam-whoring under shelter, listening to the music from the speakers that were booming from behind us. The rain didn’t seem to want to stop anytime soon, so we changed and left at about 4 and headed to Vivo to get myself a new top cus my tube was loose and it kept slipping at the back. Haha, just an excuse to shop. I think the merciless sun and the plan-spoiler rain made us feel completely drained and sleepy for some reason, so we decided to head back home early. I’m definitely going back there, sometime soon I hope. The atmosphere, if not for the rain, is awesome. Great setting, and the human parade is non exhaustive, but not too packed either. Great place to get things off your mind.

And yes, I have mastered the art of creating collages with Picasa! I feel like a kungfu apprentice who is now fully equipped with all the power packed kungfu moves. WOOHAA! I can now delete some pictures from my friendster, which is overflowing with them and replace them with collages of all of them put together! This collage function is almost as handy as the invention of storage bags that save closet space. I love it.

ANGSTY POST ALERT.

2008-01-05T02:16:00.000+08:00

No one listens anymore.

I feel like I’m being engulfed in my own problems and no one’s there to help me clear out the fog. Everyone’s caught up with their own personal lives that they can hardly spare time to hear you out.

They’re being selfish pigs.

They expect you to listen to them, but they don’t listen in return. You set off in a string of rants and all you get back are feeble and unenthusiastic ‘mmm’s and ‘oh’s and perhaps, if they‘re feeling particularly generous, they’d throw in a ‘that sucks’ to feign sympathy.

I feel like I’ve got problems up till my throat and the only outlet is from my two eye sockets. My petty problems, of course, aren’t pressing enough to demand you of a portion of your time. And I understand. Really, I do.

Because ultimately, by wanting to have someone to listen to me, I’m being a selfish pig. Just like you.

I think it’s time I hit my private blog.